So then I went out and bought a bunch of grass

Hi. I doubt you missed me.

I was supposed to have written about the Homeowners Association meeting I think. I don’t feel like it. Let’s just say there was screaming and yelling and near fights. I stood, arms crossed, above it all and let the rednecks act like…rednecks. Good times.

And, since then, there was Memorial Day. It went well. My parents had by brother and SIL down for the weekend. They also had their ‘homo friends” (their words…the homos that is, not mine) from FLA. We caught a Mudcats game and ate a lot of pork.

But, the reason I’m here is to tout my accomplishments.

The backyard work is finally done. Some time ago, I had discussed the deck we were going to build. It got done about 3 weeks ago. The vegetable garden is in and the plants are taking off. We’ll have cucumbers and tomatoes soon. This morning, we bought us a lawn.

The World’s Smallest Backyard is complete. For perspective, it’s 20′ wide and only 11′ deep. As HowardTheJew said “My patio is bigger!” Remember…this is a townhouse.

Allow me to show off some pictures.

This picture shows some of the old deck. I can’t believe we don’t have any pictures of it. This was taken when I decided to have the bright idea of sawing up the deck and sawing through the tree roots.

old deck

Since then, the tree came down and the fence was replaced.

This is taken from the back door looking out at the deck. It’s 11′ x 11′. We bought the 3 chairs and have hung little citronella candles. Joseph and Jesus watch over us…slightly out of frame because Flickr cropped the picture. Damn them.

This is the deck again, taken from the grassy side of the yard. I can’t say enough about the deck. You need to consider that I have the building skills of a retarded chimp. Having built this was a huge accomplishment. We’re quite proud of it. I sweep it off on a daily basis. No leaves shall dirty my deck!

Here’s the grass. The garden, obviously, is on the left. Front left is zucchini with cucumbers behind them. We have tomatoes on the right side and peppers in the middle. Those are peas in the pot hanging above. LOOK AT THE GRASS!

Here’s a view from up near the doors, looking right towards the grass. The next thing we need to do is power wash the patio. It’s filthy. We’ll wait until the fall to do that. Don’t want to hurt the grass.

Now…for those of you who are calling me stupid for putting down sod in June.

First off, the sod cost us $18.25. so, if it all dies, it was only $18.25. It was fun.

Secondly, the farm told us that it should be OK. Of course, what else would they say? IT doesn’t get a whole ton of sun so it won’t bake all summer, and watering it will only take 5 minutes. A neighbor recently put in some sod in a similarly sunny space and it’s flourished. I think it will be OK. If not, we’ll try again in the fall for another $18.25.

That’s it. We’re quite proud of ourselves. However, we suspect that the neighbors will be pissed off. It’s going to be, by far, the nicest yard in the community. If anyone sees it, I gather they’ll think I skimmed HOA money to do the work. Fuck ‘em. It looks cool.

We had wanted to get this done by this weekend. Next weekend ChurchBomber is coming down to go to the Buffett concert and we wanted her to be able to see our handiwork. She’ll shit when she sees it because she knows how stupid I am.

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