Another way-too-late update.

Following the last real post here, let’s go by days of the week:

July 1 – 2: Work up in PA. Long days of watching production foul up a perfectly good project. I spent time doing what I could to maybe help things along. It was bad.

July 3: Office until only 10:30. I headed to the airport to come home. Flight was on time and we got here early. That was nice. I had the ladies pick me up and we went to the Y to try out the water slide. We did several runs and then headed home.

Upon getting home, I was on the deck and noticed weeds growing through the fence from BigSexyGlenn’s yard. So, I pulled them and sprayed them with Round Up. Because I don’t want his weeds coming through the fence any more, I dumped some Round Up on a 4-foot tall weed that was about to come over the fence. I went about my afternoon

July 4: I vaguely remember it. Mike and Kim came over and we hung at the pool for most of the day. It’s so long ago, all I can really recall is being really tired.

I do remember one detail. BigSexyGlenn had a dead battery on his new little dickmobile. We chuckled as it was fixed. Then, he sped off. Apparently, somewhere in there, he snuck up to our door. That in itself is kinda funny because it was light out and his kind are easy to spot during daylight hours (what?). It said, in a nutshell, that I was the worst person ever. I emailed him to state that he was never to come to my house with his little notes again. If he wanted to talk, he could talk to me like an adult. He responded by saying that an email he sent me 3 months ago bounced back to him. He assumed that meant that I refused to speak to him any more. He’s mature.

July 5: Did we get roped into going to my parents’ house?

July 6: Back to RDU. This time the flight was only 1 1/2 hours late. I think I was at the hotel by about 10:30 or so.

July 7-9: Too much PA. Long days filled with insanity. Since I don’t have a boss, it’s hard to tell what my job is supposed to be. We planned out the strategy for this month’s big production run and prayed a lot.

July 10: Back to PHL for an early flight home. I’m fairly sure I got home, changed and went right back to work.

Shmuppie had a meet that night. We swam against the Cary Y. They were good. Our team is not. Shmuppie represented well, but she was in final heats against 7 other Cary swimmers. She got a 7th and 2 5ths. She then proceeded to pout a lot.

July 11: Work work work

July 12: In the morning, JewelrySlut relatives from Long Island stopped by. They were down here for the Christening of AL, Quasi and Dingaling’s 2nd son. Because they had to go back to Quasi’s house to clean it (I’m not making this up), they could only stay an hour.

Afterwards, we went to the pool. While there a gaggle of lovely teen-aged children came to swim. And, by swim, I mean say “mother fucker” and “n*##@&” (I decided to self-edit here) a lot. Good times! I politely asked them to please watch their language. I was cursed at. I then politely reminded them that they were guests at the pool and should behave accordingly. They muttered more curses and then left. Just keep this episode I mind as we go forward.

July 13: We had to get up early…gasp…to go to church. We drove down to Casa Retard to muster up for the Christening. I was subjected to a Catholic Mass for the first time in nearly 4 years. I was reminded why I don’t go to church and more or less consider myself religion-less.

Back to the house we went. It was hot as balls. Like good residents of Johnston County, we sat in a circle in the garage and drank light beer. Good times. I vanished at one point and took a nap on the family room couch. I was exhausted. We played in their pool and hung out for a while. Finally, at about 8:30, we left.

Then life got fun.

We struggled to get Shmuppie to bed and finally went to bed ourselves at about 10. However, from below, I heard noise. People were in the pool. Here were my choices: Ignore it and try to get to sleep despite the screaming from about 50 feet away and know that in the morning a neighbor would be by the house to complain to me that people were in the pool. Or, I could go outside and ask them to leave.

I went outside and politely asked the kids (none of whom live here) to please leave the pool. Half jumped the fence on the far side of the pool and ran away while the other half too their time toweling off and went on their way.

I went back to bed extremely irritated. I could not fall asleep.

Finally, I was drifting to sleep at about 11:30 when I heard screaming coming from out back. More people in the pool. Fuck…I could feel myself getting pissed. I tried to go back to sleep, but it only got louder.

Then, I snapped. As in “Then I went insane”.

I threw on some shorts and headed to the basement. While here, I grabbed this replica Mexican club that my parents bought me. I put on flip flops and stormed outside. (Yes…it OK to be saying “Bad idea” right about now). I got to the fence and whacked one of the posts with the club. I screamed “Get the fuck out of the pool” about 5 times…all while clubbing the posts.

The kids in the pool freaked the fuck out. They started screaming. Of course, you would to if your illicit swim was broken up by what appeared to be a psychopath with a club. I kept screaming at them to get out of the pool. I called one of the 3 girls fatso. It was really a proud moment. They got to the gate and I more or less chased them off. The leader of the group said that she lived here and she was going home to tell her dad. I told her to go ahead and to say Hi from me. (Again…I was insane at the time). JewelrySlut watched this from the deck and admitted to being terrified.

I got home and sat on the sofa. I was shaking and unable to speak.

July 14:
It’s just past midnight.
3 minutes later, I heard shouting by our front door. The girls were back. They had Dad and his bat with them. I opened the door and invited them inside. Dad said that would not be necessary. He saw that it was me, got one look at the look in my eyes and said “You need to get off the board. You’ve lost it”. I agreed. We spoke for about 20 minutes, during which time, I apologized about 7000 times. He said that the girls were wrong to be in the pool, but that I went more than a little over the edge. I agreed. JewelrySlut agreed. I think we surprised him by agreeing to 100% of what he said. Naturally, he took this meeting as an opportunity to bitch about the Homeowner’s Association. Considering that he’s much larger than me, I let him. His daughter kept yelling at me. She’s quite a fresh little thing. I apologized, we shook hands, and they went home.

Needless to say, I didn’t sleep for the rest of the night. Neither did JewelrySlut. I felt terrible about what had happened, mostly because it was so utterly stupid and inappropriate. I had clearly snapped and lost my mind. The stress of work, the travel and the Homeowner’s Association had caught up all at once.

When it was time to wake up, I came down here and penned a resignation letter to the board. I also emailed the community and told them the same. Both JewelrySlut and I spent the day feeling miserable.

In the afternoon, JewelrySlut and I decided that I’d bug out of the office for a while on the 15th and go to Falls Lake to chill out for a while. We needed it.

After dinner, JewelrySlut got a call from FLA. Her father has been diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease. Fuck. We’re obviously upset and very concerned about this. Hopefully he’ll respond to treatments and show some improvements. But, it’s not really what anyone needs right now.

July 15: We slept fairly well the night before and felt almost human. I did some work and we went to the lake. We just hung out in the sun for about 4 hours and cooked ourselves. I currently match my red T-shirt.

I had a message on my cell when we got to the car. Redneck Pam (Board VP) had called and wanted me to call her. I had not received any response from her about my resignation so I was anxious to speak to her.

When I called, she said she could not make last night’s meeting. I asked why. “I’m in the hospital”. “Oh god…are you OK”. “No…I have leukemia”.


I told her my news and she understood. I told her to forget about everything and just worry about her treatments.

So, what remains of the board, minus the 2 no-shows, met at our house. Things are bad. They currently have no President, no VP and no Treasurer. They have 2 members who don’t contribute to meetings. They have 2 people who actively hate each other. They’re trying to gather people to meet on Sunday to start figuring things out. It’s bad.

But, it’s not my problem.

July 16. Here we are. That’s my life. It’s been bad lately. The stress from everything is absolutely crushing me. I can’t eat or sleep and am always exhausted and nauseous. Js is doing no better. I’m never home and she’s very worried about her father.

There’s one bright spot on the horizon. We leave for St John in 23 days. It’s all we’re focused on right now. Each day is another one closer to the trip. I have to go to PA next week. We’re deciding if I should go back the following week or is JewelrySlut should go to FLA. We’re just hoping August 9 comes soon. I did make one significant change to the vacation plans. We had decided that we were due to arrive in St Thomas too late on Saturday. When I booked the trip, I could not get on the earlier flight. So, we’d decided to change to the earlier flight. It would cost us $$ and miles, but we felt it was worth it. Last week, I made the change. Due to the silliness of Delta Skymiles, we are flying 1st class. It was the same “price” as coach. So, the trip will get off to a more relaxing start than it otherwise would have. We happen to be flying home 1st class too. That’s a good thing. We deserve a little bit of a break.

That’s it. It’s today.

3 thoughts on “Another way-too-late update.

  1. You have no idea how badly I wish I wasn’t so broke right now, just so I could fly to NC and show up to make your life just a little worse. (Do you feel ALL THE LOVE in that comment?)

  2. Oh shit. And here I was, planning on calling you up to offer to pit our children against each other in the pool, you know, for blog fodder and shit. I hope FIL and RNP are okay, that’s some scary shit right there. I don’t care how inappropriate your behaviour was, that was fucking HILARIOUS. You should have had JS film it, that would go great on YouTube!

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