Redefining Saturday

It’s funny how someone so small can have such a large impact on things around the house. And we’re not even talking about all the stuff; the pack and play and swing in the living room, the car seat and feeding seat thing in the dining room. Or the bassinet and changing table and clothes and stuff in our room. Or the bathtub in our room or the newly redesigned spare room.

I’m talking more about sleep patterns. I’m not really impacted by much at this point because, while I have nipples, they’re more or less useless to Chicken. So, during the night, there’s not much for me to do other than sleep. JewelrySlut gets up overnight to do the feedings and, while I usually open one eye to ask “Is everything OK?”, I sleep. Don’t look at me that way, what the hell else is there for me to do? Stay awake in an act of solidarity? That’s stupid.

So, this morning, I woke up at about 8:20 and the ladies I share a room with were both dead asleep. They’re still there. I’m happy that Chicken, so far, is a good sleeper because Shmuppie was not. The extra hour+ of sleep that JewelrySlut can get in the morning seems to be what’s keeping her sane at this point. So, Shmuppie and I are downstairs…her watchint The Disney Channel, me puttering away on the laptop. I was trying to overcome my HTML-tard skills to make some edits to this site, but, as usual, failed. So…same old look for now.

A quiet Saturday morning is an odd thing. It’s not that I don’t like the company, but the ability to sit here quietly, listening to the neighbors do their insane things, is kinda nice.

Speaking of neighbors…here’s a good one.

This is an email I sent to the FHPs (Filthy Horse People)


I’m sorry to bother you through email but I never seem to catch you at home. I was just out watering my plants and the smell from Sweetie’s poops is pretty bad. I peeked through the fence to make sure I wasn’t going crazy or anything and the flower pots along our common fence have poop in them. I think that’s what we smell when we sit in our little “grass” area.

Would you mind sending FHK (Filthy Horse Kid) out there with a shovel to clean it up? I hate to be such a bother about this but the smell is quite strong out back.

I Sent that 3 days ago and the dog shit remains. I’m not happy. Is it so much to ask a person to clean up after their dog? It’s especially bad because these turds are right along the fence that we share. When we put in the deck, we had to make a decision: put the deck by BigSexyGlenn or by the FHPs. We chose the former for reasons I don’t remember. I think it had to do with the smell. We figured we’d sit on the deck more. then, the sod failed and the garden didn’t take on the FHP side. So, the fake grass went in and the garden switched to the deck side. Now, we like to sit in the grassy side, but have to contend with the smell. I’m pondering my next move. It’s either dump bleach on all their plants in order to 1: Kill the smell and 2: Kill the heirloom bulbs or show up at their door with a shovel and request entry to their yard. I know I’d be horrified if I received an email like I sent…I’d be really horrified knowing that it’s like the 3rd time I’ve been asked to clean up.

This may have to get ugly between us because, as things stand, we can’t sit in our yard. I can barely open the doors to the basement because the odor of shit is so strong.

That’s it for now. Time to go find the baby backpack thing and remember how to use it. Chicken’s making a trip to the Farmer’s Market today, and assuming I can fit her into the backpack, that will be her mode of conveyance.

2 thoughts on “Redefining Saturday

  1. Despite being a diehard animal lover and even despite actually liking the next door dog, I am about ready to call the cops to report her incessant barking!!!!!!!! The effing teenagers next door — and I think there’s about four of them living there when there’s only supposed to be one — let the dog outside and then close the door so she gets bored and BARKSANDBARKSANDBARKS right outside my open window. While I’m trying to place calls looking for work. Then there’s the teens themselves sitting outside to smoke and to hack and snork and goddeIjustwanttokillthemall!!!!!

  2. Um. Why doesn’t JS pump so she can sleep while YOU feed the baby? It’s bad enough she has to be married to you, don’t make her go crazy from lack of sleep.

    Can you complain to HOA about them? Isn’t there some kind of standard they have to upkeep living in this community? Maybe you could shit in a bag and put it in their yard. Every day. To remind them that shit is annoying and doesn’t smell all that pleasant.

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