I still don’t know how to name these. Maybe I’ll do Buffett songs again. I’m not sure.

And so it begins.

I’m sitting here in the office at 8:30. I’d just gotten downstairs because I like to come to work late on Friday mornings.

The home line rings…it’s my father’s cell number. Before I even answer, I pop open a new tab in Firefox and start entering the Continental site’s address. I assume his flight home is cancelled and he needs help re-booking.


“Can you or JewelrySlut do me a favor?”


“Your mother’s locked herself out of the house. She had her New Jersey keys with her and obviously they’re not doing her a lot of good. She’s in a neighbor’s house right now.”

“OK…One of us will go”

I told JewelrySlut and she went up to unlock the house. Good thing we still have keys. She also took the NJ keys off the ring and threw them away.

As I said, this may be the first time we have to let her in her house, but it most certainly is not the last.

Good times.

Yesterday was a fun day. JewelrySlut and Shmuppie were up at the estate and apparently, Shmuppie was not behaving at all. It got so bad that my mother, the usual instigator of her bad behavior, had to start yelling.

When the ladies got home, it didn’t get any better.

JewelrySlut and I were talking, so Shmuppie decided to knock a mountain of books and toys off of her little table. Having gotten our attention, she got to stand in the corner. When she emerged, she announced that she couldn’t find the little water pen that she used to “paint” in her Dora book. JewelrySlut offered to help her find it. They started looking and JewelrySlut suggested that she clean up some of the clutter over by the table.

Shmuppie announced “That noise hurts my ears”

Now, she likes to say that any noise hurts her ears. This, of course, comes from the child who yells all the time.

JewelrySlut asked what noise in particular was hurting her ears

“Your voice”

At this moment, JewelrySlut was flabbergasted. I whacked the kid upside the head and sent her back to the corner.

Leaving the corner, I instructed her to go apologize.

JewelrySlut told Shmuppie that she could not talk like that to anyone, especially Mommy and Daddy, and that she’d better straighten up or else we were all in for a long nigh.

Shmuppie, completely ignoring her, asked for a lollipop or something.

I pulled Shmuppie over to me and got in her face asking her to repeat what Mommy had said.

“I don’t know”

“Did you even listen to anything she said”?”

“I don’t know. Can you read me a story?”

“Did you even listen to what I said?”


Whack! This time she was sent to her room to go sit in the dark.

This pattern continued for most of the evening.

Good to see that we’re cycling towards bad behavior again. I think I need to book some flights.

There’s more to talk about, but not right now.

Enjoy the new digs.


PS: Smed says I need one of those NotifyList things. Do I? I still should show a new entry over at D-Land that will redirect you here. I an do it if all 2 of you see the need or the desire to know EXACTLY when I post.

11 thoughts on “I still don’t know how to name these. Maybe I’ll do Buffett songs again. I’m not sure.

  1. My kids like to tell me that I am annoying them when I ask them to clean up their messes. The first time they said it I about freaked. And yesterday when I grabbed Luke’s arm to stop him from whacking his brother, he told me to keep my hands to myself. Whereupon I showed him that being a grownup, I do not have to. Now he knows.

  2. See, this is why I have a cat and not kids. When my cat pisses me off, I can throw him outside and shut the door, and the deparment of child services doesn’t come and take him away from me.

  3. I have yet another plan to further my rep as worst parent ever: My parent’s house has a crawlspace under it where all the fish pond equipment is. I told JewelrySlut to threaten to lock Shmuppie down there the next time she starts messing around. There’s nothing wring with locking your kid in a crawlspace, is there?

  4. Not as far as I can see. I can’t believe you haven’t locked her in there, already. I mean, if it’s good enough for Harry Potter, it’s good enough for her!!

  5. Dude, go to the Evil Empire and get yourself a travel-sized bar of Dove soap. Everytime she mouths off to either of you make her stand and hold the soap in her mouth. I GUARANTEE she’ll stop mouthing off in a matter of days. Or you can threaten to bring her up here where all the toothless hillbillies live.

  6. I still do the Diaryland fake entry update to let my old buddies know I’ve updated… although I have a cool plugin called Subscribe2 that sends out emails to anyone who subscribes automatically when I update. Does that sound like something you might need?

  7. YES!! get the WordPress automated notify system … it rocks! Even though it hiccups now and then and doesn’t send out the email … but that’s pretty rare. Anyway, it would be convenient for ME, so get it done. ;)

  8. Oh! You have a female Boy 1. We cycle too, isn’t it fun? You can see the dreaded downward spiral, but can’t stop that train. We’re currently at bottom – I hope. Either that or the bottom has become significantly lower than I remembered.

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