No plane on Sunday

Sometimes I feel that if I post nothing, like 2 people will be sad. But then, if I mail it in like I’m doing here, like maybe 3 people will be sad. See my dilemma?

Here’s why I have nothing to say. This is my life:

2 hour flight delay going to EWR

2 hour flight delay coming home

I’m hella stoked because I won all 3 of my fantasy football games last weekend. I’m 2-1 in 2 leagues and 1-2 in the other. I need to pick it up in the last league…especially when you consider that the 2 losses are to SecretAgentBrother and JewelrySlut. Not good.

Back to NJ on Sunday night

Potty training rolls on. The chart seems to be working. Shmuppie was stalled at 3 stickers for a while and is now up to 8 or 9 and not having many accidents. 2 poopies yesterday! That’s exciting.

My mother is still insane

Big baseball weekend. Sunday’s going to be rough because the Yankees/Sawks game is not on anything I can watch. Drat.

The project at work continues to roll towards completion. I have now started shamelessly using it as a career stepping stone. If I don’t come out of this thing with a job from either vendor or a new one at HealthcareRelatedCompany, I deserve to be anally raped by an angry rhino.

Speaking of sex, got the latest shipment. I’ve decided to hold on to the porn for now because it occurred to us that I’d given all of ours away and had very little to show for it. Just a few CDs of music that I hate. So, I’m keeping the porn this time.

We do have one of these available:

That’s not exactly it, but it’s close enough to convey the message. This one has cute little lips. I keep going to JewelrySlut and saying “Give me some sugah” and having it kiss her. Then Shmuppie grabs it and runs off using it as a microphone. She sings into it.

Yup…parents of the year. So, if you’d like it, send me some swag that I can actually use.

What else…?

It’s cooling off here as fall arrives. Lordy lord, it sure is nice here now that it’s below 100 degrees outside. And…no leaves to rake this year!

Finished Wolves of the Calla. I was disappointed only because I think Stephen King knows that us Constant Readers are clamoring to see how this t ale ends. It’s like he said to himself “Self! I can really fuck with them now. Let’s write myself into one of my stories, thus creating a paradox of fiction vs reality that will really piss them all off”. Thanks, dude…just what I needed. Go get hit by another truck.

The library.


They let you check out books for free. I’m all about the books.

Did I mention that we joined our local YMCA? Now if I were ever at home for consecutive days, I could go avail myself of the many services it offers. Goodbye flabby gut. Hello, Mr. Sexypants. Who am I kidding? I’m a balding 31 year old.

Oh, this was fun. I’m down here yesterday working and I was getting pissed. I couldn’t see the computer screen. Over to the right side of my field of vision was a crescent-shaped shimmering thing. Like looking at a highway mirage. It wouldn’t go away. Turns out it was Stage 1 of a migraine. Fun. I took some Excedrins and lay down. Fortunately it went away before the whole puking thing and the pain started. I spent most of the rest of the day feeling hung-over.

Go to Trip Advisor (link at left). Go to Mahwah, NJ and click on the Doubletree hotel. Read my review. I found it amusing. You? You all should use that site before you book any kind of travel. It’s a wonderful thing.

And, to finally wrap up this disaster, we’re almost fully booked for our USVI vacation. We now have tickets there and are booked on the way home as far as Atlanta. The ATL – RDU flight hadn’t opened up as of last night, so we’re waitlisted for the return flight. If it doesn’t open in the next 2 weeks, we may be walking home from ATL. That might suck donkey balls just a wee bit.

Well…gotta go put my plan together for Monday’s mayhem. I intend to cause a ruckus and a half in our vendor decision meetings. Corporate has stacked this thing against one vendor; essentially giving them no chance. Only thing is that the vendor with no chance is by far and away the better vendor for this project. And, when you’re awarding over $350million in contracts, you’d like to base it on whether or not they can do the job, not on how much payola they provide.


14 thoughts on “No plane on Sunday

  1. YOu had to see the room. It was a horror. I will buy Mr Simmons' book. Chmuppie's going for stuff she wants and she knows what she has to do to get those things, it just seems that pissing herself is more fun. And, fuck you with your Go SAWKS! AckAckAckAck

  2. Dear Martha "NoGoodDaddy" Stewart,

    The fact that you called the decor a "horror" instead of "not matching" or "lookiing like shit" further goes to show what a queen you truly are. I've heard manlier talk coming out of the Village.

    And this is coming from a guy who wears thinks that awful Hawaiian shirts match anything just because they have every concievable color in them?

    Just checking.



  3. Since I sent the writeup, as posted, to Doubletree, I wanted to keep it professional-like. Plus, I even said that I was ganging up on the decor. But, man, it was bad. Red Chair, Gold Drapes, Green Carpet. It was like a fucking Culture Club video.

    nyuk nyuk nyuk…get it?

  4. Nice review; sounds like what Martha Stewart said when she went to prison.

    And Yay for the Shmupster! Looks like I'm stuck with this damned corny video, then. Fuck it, maybe I can yardsale it.

  5. That review makes you sound like a queen. Sweet Funky Moses, you complained about the bedspread and sheets not matching?

    Speaking of books, are you getting or have you gotten Bill Simmons' book?

    P.S. The key to the chart is to make her work towards something that she REALLY FUCKING WANTS. And make big deal about it when you have to take a sticker off and she realizes that she is that much further away from getting what she wants.

    P.P.S. GO SAWKS!!!!

  6. I'm pondering a background…it can't be gay as hell and I think seashells would be just that; gay as hell. also, I don't know how to "layer" a background and have it be transparent enough to have text laid on top of it. The HTML 'tard rides again

  7. Okay, what text did you want? Basically what I'd do is get a snippet of background, put the text on it and then tile it. Let me know exactly what you want and I'll try to get r done.

    Fuck; sorry about that.

  8. Are you calling my groovy shirt "worthless" It was way cool, just REALLY REALLY BIG!!

    I know I'm enormous it is what I get for being an offensive lineman.

    But I do have another shirt….and it is a little smaller…not much, but hey you could eat a little more you know!! or tell us what you're looking for.

  9. I didn't mean to demean the value of the shirt. I cry your pardon, Mr Nightmare. I keep meaning to make fun of you for going to K State (I think you did at least). Didn't they suck while you were there?

    And to WCG, tiled backgrounds make me mad…in my soul

  10. So if you don't want tiled background do you just want the text in one spot? That would have nothing to do with the background then, that's just text. Let me know what you want it to say and I'll see how sheer I can get it.

    God forbid we make you cry…in your soul.

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