Yeah, but now I’m gettin’ old, don’t wear underwear,

Serious talk time again.

(Collectively, all 4 of my regular readers are rolling their eyes and saying “Great…he’s got problems with his nuts again”)

Yup.

So, as we recall, I chronicled my change from briefs to boxers earlier this year. This went OK, but I had to perform surgery on the boxers. They needed to be cut in the crotch to allow my suddenly massive thighs to fit in the legs. Otherwise, I had either snugness issues or serious bunching. Neither was good. Well, because I performed said surgery in a hotel room with a steak knife (I was staying in a Residence Inn (and because I stayed at a Rez, I could cut my pants (Joke for Smed))), the cuts were a little ragged. They started fraying all over the place. So, JewelrySlut bought me some new undies. Well, they bunched and I was forever grabbing at my sack.

Well, in my stocking the other day, I found a set of boxer briefs. I’m still undecided about them. Yesterday, they felt restrictive. But, after having them on and sleeping in them, they may feel a little bit better.

It’s a difficult life I live.

So, it’s Wednesday. Tomorrow, the Big old Jet air-a-liner lands and brings my parents to the Piedmont (we do live in the Piedmont, don’t we?). They will be in town until the evening of the 1st. That’s 4 nights with them. I’m trying to find ways to keep us all distracted and away from each other as much as possible.

For example: Thursday night, my father, JewelrySlut and I are going to a local watering hole to watch Rutgers stomp a new mudhole in K-State. Simultaneously, they will be losing to UNC in men’s hoops, but I don’t care.

Friday, their new kitchen is allegedly being installed. That should keep at least a portion of the group busy. I have no idea what we will do on Friday night. It could get ugly.

Saturday, the 3 of us are going to a NC State basketball game. We don’t have a good reason to do so other than it will get us away from my mother and Shmuppie. On Saturday night, the Giants and Redskins play, but they’re on the stupid NFL Network. So, back to the bar the 3 of us will go.

Sunday is New Year’s Eve and all I have planned is a nice dinner. I need several distractions. We think we may just get my mother drunk and see if she passes out at 7:00. We’d be very fortunate were it to play out that way. Then we won’t have to listen to her insanity.

It looks like a full few days, but there are some serious gaps in the schedule which lend themselves to conversation. That’s bad.

Can I change topics? Does anyone have a Dell laptop? I do (for work). It acts funny sometimes. I’ve noticed that the mouse hates table tops. I’m at the kitchen table now and it’s got a wood grain finish to it. As does my desk. Well, I think the mouse hates it. It likes to jump around and move all over the screen. Not good times. But, outside of the wood thing, the cursor also likes to jump all over the page. I don’t understand. This little side-rant was born in the fact that I was happily typing along when I found myself 4 paragraphs from where I expected to be. The cursor had magically hopped to a new place on the page. Anyone know how to cure this?

Poor JewelrySlut. Her laptop is already on the fritz. I need to bring it in for a new battery. The one provided with the computer seems to be 100% dead. It won’t take a charge. So, she’s tethered to the desk in the office and can’t happily roam the house surfing the internet for porn or whatever she needs to surf for. I feel bad. I should have checked that ahead of time. But, any laptop I’ve ever had was supplied by work and came all charged up in advance. So, it never occurred to me to go out of my way to check the battery. We learned this the hard way when, after booting it up, we unplugged the back to take it upstairs and it abruptly shut off. That’s real good for the hard drive I hear.

Oh…I know this is an early warning, but I have a potentially great TV show to watch. On January 3 from 5:00 – 6:00 PM Eastern, my father’s boss will be on QVC. They work for a water conservation company and he’ll be on the air shilling home conservation kits. From all I’ve heard, the guy is a grade A asshole and likes to curse a lot. My father’s DVR’ing it in the hopes that the boss does something that lands himself in jail or in FCC hell. So, we’ll be watching it here. I’d suggest you do the same.

And, lastly. Please pray for Barbaro.

Smed: I seriously had a dream last night that Deadspin was reporting that he had died!

I need a life.

Wait: one final comment. If you got a card this season or didn’t get a card, I am not responsible. I’m not pinning this on JewelrySlut or anything, but I am always unaware of who gets cards and who doesn’t. This comes from the person who forgot to get his wife cards for Christmas. You should have seen the look on my face when I saw the cards she got me. So, if you got one, bully for you. If you didn’t, I either don’t have your address or JewelrySlut has decided she doesn’t like you enough to get a card. See, I managed to pin it on her anyway.

6 thoughts on “Yeah, but now I’m gettin’ old, don’t wear underwear,

  1. Use a piece of paper under the mouse (I'm guessing it's an optical one)…they don't like anything shiny. Your cursor probably jumped because even though you're using a mouse…the touchpad still works. So, given its location, it's really easy to accidentally touch it while you're typing.

  2. Ahem. Yes, you live in the Piedmont, not the Mountains or the Coastal Plain (I have to remind myself that you weren't here for 4th grade social studies).

  3. I have a Dell laptop, and I've never had any problems. However, we just got my dad one for Christmas, and five seconds after I turned it on, the LCD went to shit and had to be replaced. FYI, from a woman's perspective, boxer briefs are way hotter than boxers. Plus they'll show off your "massive thighs" and get JS all hot and bothered.

  4. Jeez, what is it with our husband's nuts? Thankfully, Hubby has his package well (so now I can fondle him and he doesn't wimper like a baby) but he's constantly cold and it's driving me nuts. Pun intended.

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