May become charges pressed

Notes from the Kingdom:

We had a cleanup day on Saturday. Friday was rainy and icky, so we were not sure if anyone would show up. Well, it cleared and we spent 3 hours chopping shit down. Now, you ask why we would do this if we live in townhouses with a lovely landscaping contract. Because El Jefe (me) don’t want to pay 2G’s for this cleanup. So, we cleaned.

And I got poison ivy.

But, I did get to climb a tree. JewelrySlut caught me doing it and was none too pleased. Maybe it was the long telescoping saw in my hands. Maybe it’s because I’m prone to hurting myself.

But, while this all is going on, we’re facing a lawsuit from a resident. We’re being accused of everything; harassment, racism, whatever you want. Do you all remember cat poop lady from a while back? Well, she’s back. And, she’s mad. She’s mad because we’re asking her to stop running a daycare center out of her house. Apparently that’s racist. We’re also asking her not to throw her garbage out on her porch. That also is racist. We’re also asking her to not let her husband repair his car and drain his oil pan into the parking lot. Racist. And, for fun, her mother is a lawyer and they’re ready to sue. But, riddle me this: should she lose, wouldn’t we (the Homeowners) just sue her back for legal bills? And, should she win, and is awarded damages, who pays for this? That’s right; she does (as a homeowner). That makes a lot of sense.

I also learned today that she has not paid her sewer bill to the city of Raleigh for 4 years. She’s insisting that the HOA pay it. Our property manager told her that’s not how it works. Anyone want to guess what she said about that?

I love it. So, I have to deal with the idiots at work all week and then watch these emails fly around at home. It’s good times.

Hey…does anyone want a kid? We’re ready to start over again and get us a new one. Shmuppie is not behaving so well lately. It’s any number of things; not listening, whining, pitching fits, not eating and generally acting like a bitch. It’s bad for JewelrySlut because she’s stuck home all week with her. At some point last week, Shmuppie managed to get JewelrySlut to break down and start crying. This was before last night when JewelrySlut just lost it. Shmuppie was just acting horribly and she just couldn’t take it. And, it’s no picnic for me. I come home on the weekends and all I do is yell. All I say is “No”. We’re not happy. We know it will pass and my not being home is a big part of it, but we need a break.

For example; on Friday, Shmuppie had taken out a puzzle book she has. It’s got like 6 puzzles built into the book. She spread them out on the floor and put them together. That’s fine. But, she refused to clean them up. JewelrySlut told her, “Clean it up or we’re getting rid of it”. Well, Shmuppie didn’t care and threw the book in the trash. Oh, that’s great. I’m not sure what that says about any of us. Is she spoiled? Yup. Does she just not get it? Yup. So, I called my mother. Not because I need advice from a lunatic, but because they’re coming down this weekend. Grammy likes to bring lots of toys when she visits. I told her that she was not to bring nay toys or gifts. None at all. She tried to argue with me that Shmuppie really wanted a pair of binoculars and they were already purchased. I said no. Who wants to bet they arrive at the house on Thursday night? I’ll kill her if she brings anything. This should be a fun weekend of being belittled and undermined. I can’t wait.

I really don’t have too much else to say. I’m kinda tired and cold. Maybe I should turn off the A/C in the hotel room and put on some pants.

I don’t know.

13 thoughts on “May become charges pressed

  1. We are at wits end with Pie, too. In fact, I kinda want to write you an email and rant about it all, just because I reckon you're the only one who relates. If you get said email, just delete it and tell me sweet little lies full of empathy, ok?

    Yelling doesn't work, guilt doesn't work, punishments don't work… and when I point to my belly and let her know that I'm growing her replacement? She accepts it! Asks how much longer she's got!

  2. I have NO idea what kind of advice is appropriate… My Mom used her Jedi mind tricks to make me believe she could read my mind and it scared the crap out of me. That worked pretty good.

  3. I think Dr Fill has it right. We're beyond reasoning with the child. She's become evil. On a bright note, my parents aren't coming down this weekend. And, where did Cardigan get those awesome Chuck facts?

  4. Sell your kid on the black market and start over. Go to Malawi and get a Madonna model. Impoverished orphans are all the rage right now.

    You know, when my mailman handed me a box from the NoGoodFamily, well, I don't have to tell you the bizarre things I thought might be in that box. Thanks, ass monkey!

  5. My kids never ever clean up. That's ok, coz I never did as a kid either. My mum yelled blue at me and I still didn't get it … I don't even get it now. I figure, if *I* don't clean up, I can't expect them to … so I have an awful house, and relatively happy kids :D

    But no, seriously? You want something that works, watch Supernanny. She rocks. Ended Miss Five's flirt with tantrums in less than a week.

  6. Hmmm, tantrums eh? What do you guys do while she's having said tantrums? If you ignore her (while not giving her what she wants, that is) they should at least lessen. And don't threaten to throw stuff away; place it on a high shelf where she can still see it but not play with it! This will help as a reminder that mommy means business while you're ignoring the tantrums.

    If all else fails, drink.

  7. A. I do drink. A lot!
    2. Tried the whole taking stuff away and putting it up high where it could be seen and not touched. Didn't make a damn bit of difference and we were running out of high spots.

  8. Does Shmuppie tell you what's upsetting her? That was the problem I had with my oldest as he really wasn't much of a talker when he was littler. Try telling her that it's okay to miss Daddy when he's gone but you're not gonna put up with her shit. Then give HER some rum.

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