And I’m leaving this town as soon as I can

What a past few days. It’s been a friggin whirlwind.

Friday: Not much happened with work. That was good. I had to juggle Presidential duties (huh huh huh duties) involving some crazy people, a broken car, a threatening dog, and just some more shit. Plus, my allergies were raging. Then, we got Chinese food for dinner from a new place called Wang’s Kitchen. I’ll tell you that we had coupons, but you know why we went there. It may have been fetid because we paid for it all night.

Saturday: Shmuppie got up at like 7:00. Ugh…so early. But, we had a lot to do.

So, allergies raging, we went to the Farmer’s Market yet again. Damn, we love it there. But, we made certain to go because it was apparently emu day. And ever since I was attached by a flock of emus once, JewelrySlut likes to try to get me and them together as often as possible because she doesn’t get enough entertainment in her normal life. Alas, there were no emus; just a booth from the NC Emu Society who seemed to be offering up things like emu oil and emu soap. Um…eew? We bought some veggies and went home.

I was back and forth to the pool and clubhouse for a while. The wedding is still on for June and the folks throwing it were starting the cleaning. I was cleaning the pool a little bit in advance of the opening day party I was throwing. It was a nice day and things were going well.

The ladies headed to the airport to get Grammy and I went to buy balloons for my shindig. Finally 3:00 rolled around, and I opened the gate to the pool and the crowds arrived. It was amazing. I’d never seen that many people at the pool. People were hanging out and having a good time. The weather was magnificent. The water was frigid. But, the kids didn’t care and had a ball. Shmuppie, JewelrySlut, and Grammy got there and Shmuppie went for a swim. The party wound down and we went to dinner.

The evening was warm and, with my mother in the house, we had no cross ventilation. I realize that there is no logic in that sentence, but bear with me. The guest room is in the front of the house and ours is in the back. Closed doors = no cross ventilation and it was hot. At midnight, I woke up because I heard noise form the hallway. It seems Shmuppie had woken up crying and she and Grammy were in the bathroom. I have no idea what was going on. So, I went back to bed. More noise started at 2:00. I poked JewelrySlut and sent her to check on the kid. Shmuppie was sound asleep. This meant only one thing; people in the pool.

Now, we’ve been discussing that the rules for 2006 will be: People in the pool after hours = immediate call to the police. So, I went downstairs to get a better look, and lo and behold, people were in the pool and making noise. So, I called the police and dispatched someone to the complex. Like a minute later, the people left the pool area. They had a dog with them. The dog ran and they called out for it “JEZEBELL!”

I don’t know what happened first; did my heart sink or did my head explode with rage? Why did I react so? Because Jezebel belongs to the people who are throwing the wedding. The fuckers were in the pool making noise at 2:00 in the morning. I was furious. Not only was it inappropriate, but it was the day after I’d gotten my board to allow them to hold the wedding. I was ready to freak out. I called the police back and told them that the people had left the site. I was ready for the morning. It took me about an hour to calm down once I got back to bed. I was just so angry. I had stuck my neck out for these people and they, in turn, went and took advantage of me. I don’t have the words to describe how mad I was.

Needless to say, I slept fitfully from there out.

Sunday: More allergies
I was still livid and not even the sausage biscuits I made for breakfast made me feel better. JewelrySlut talked me off the ledge and told me not to freak out at the neighbors, but to go talk nicely to them and explain why what they did was so very inappropriate. I went down to the pool and found a bunch of beer cans lying around. But, I maintained calm and waited to see what happened.

A few hours later, the bride to be came over. The pool was being filled and the water was pretty high. She wanted to let me know so I could call the pool company.

Me: Um…I don’t want to be a jerk, but can we talk?
Her: um…sure?
Me: You guys were in the pool at 2:00 and that’s not cool
Her: (Angry) I was asleep at 2. It wasn’t me.
Me: Ok then, but the dog’s name is Jezebel, right? Because she was down at the pool with a few guys. I called the cops but then realized who was there and cancelled the call
Her: Unable to speak because she’s deciding to be mortified or enraged.
Me: There were also beer cans all over the place this morning.
Her: My fianc‚ had some friends over. (Getting angrier) What’s wrong with him? We’re cleaning up that place to have a wedding! Oh…I’m gonna go talk to him. (Rage rising)
Me: Look, We’re going to enforce the police thing and we don’t need them getting arrested a few weeks before the wedding
Her: Storms off.

A few hours later, I was down at the pool trying to figure out how to shut the water off. The fianc‚ kinda slinked over. He’d been spoken to (or at for that matter). Somehow I don’t think this guy had ever apologized to no Yankee dumbass before, but he was contrite to say the very least. I almost felt bad for the guy. He’d screwed up and had paid for it. Never cross an angry bride to be.

The rest of Sunday went well. We hung by the pool for a while and enjoyed the sun. Because nothing’s easy, White Trash Winnie and her kids showed up. Um…they don’t live in our place anymore. I figured that I wouldn’t say anything because I’d done enough already. I’m going to let Miss Anne handle this one when she gets back from vacation. She and Winnie hate each other. Anne will be more than happy to handle it for me.

Monday: Alarm went off at 4:45. That’s an ungodly hour. I had a 6:35 flight. This has been a long day. I left the plant at about 4:30 and came to the hotel. I unpacked and laid down to read a little bit. Nearly an hour later I woke up. Seems the lack of sleep and hay fever had caught up to me. I’ve rallied a little bit now.

This should be a busy week. We have a lot do to tomorrow through Thursday. It’s going to be insane as we try to drive this mess home. Developments keep popping up that are making it hard to hit our date. I’m doing what I can, but a lot is out of my hands. All I can do it manage what’s in my area and hope the rest falls into place.

On a good note, I got a 2 bedroom suite this weekend. Or, should I say…2 bedroom SWEET? Anyone wanna come to PA and hang out?

11 thoughts on “And I’m leaving this town as soon as I can

  1. So you loved the Wang, eh?

    You were attacked by Emu?!? I always knew that muppet was bad news. I've read reports that little red bastard was hanging out at strip clubs, and all sorts of nasty shit.

    Keep calling the cops and you will piss them off to no end. Cops hate that shit. It's private property and you need a locking fence or a security guard. And the groom should have appoligized. Dink.

  2. Look…do what you want here in PA. I don't give half a shit. I usually pass out from exhaustion at bedtime as it is. But, it seems the other bedroom is haunted so be careful.

  3. ME ME ME I wanna come, but only if I can swim in the pool at 2am and blast oldies and sing to them ("…Cuz I can't fight this feeeeeeling anymoooooooore…") and then throw up on one of the newer deck chairs and leave half-filled Coors cans with ciggie butts in them…. But only — and this IS a deal breaker — if there are Emus. xoxoxo

  4. Yeah, I hate it when I get attached to wild animals but it makes a great conversation piece. And when the hell did emus live in Joisey? Sounds to me like Bubba fianc was raised right my his mama; you fuck up and get caught you walk over and apologize. You know, swimming holes don't have no curfews. Yankee.

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