Sometimes I catch her dreamin and wonder where that little mind meanders

Have you considered having kids?

Do you think it’s a good idea?

I’m not saying that it is or isn’t, but let me provide the following as what you may have to deal with should you have kids:

Setting: A Dining Room in Raleigh
Players: Shmuppie and JewelrySlut
Time: After Dinner

Riiiiiiiiiiiing

Shmuppie: Who’s on the phone?

JewelrySlut: It could be MerlotMan. (He and I were playing phone tag to set up our recently changed flights to St Thomas)

Shmuppie: Or ChurchBomber. Or Grammy and Grampy. Or Gramps and Miss S. Or Nana. Or Michael Buble. Or Uncle SecretAgentBrother. Or what’s the girl’s name?

JewelrySlut: SecretAgentEx-Girlfriend? (Met when we were in DC a year ago during the drive here)

Shmuppie: Yes. SecretAgentEx-Girlfriend. I’m really shy to Nana but I’m not shy to Michael Buble.

(End of conversation)

I believe at this time, JewelrySlut started crying. But, before she did so, she had the good sense to write down the conversation, knowing full well how we would enjoy it.

My thoughts on the matter: Why is a Canadian pop star calling my house?

Better yet, why and how is my late Mother-in-Law calling my house. And, were she to call me, you bet your collective asses, I’d be shy. And, by shy, I mean scared so bad that I’d shit.

Not much else here. I continue to flex my Presidential Muscle around here. The latest issue is that some white trash neighbors want to hold a wedding in our clubhouse (by the pool). But…the clubhouse is closed because it’s apparently unsafe. Meetings will be held for sure.

And…my mother’s coming this weekend. Wasn’t she just here for Shit’s sake? Fuckall!

6 thoughts on “Sometimes I catch her dreamin and wonder where that little mind meanders

  1. El Presidente

    A wedding? Ha! I'd envoke the presidential perogative to have first night with the bride.

    I'd outline music, clean up , liabaility and of course the rental fee. Ahh. fuck it. This a backyard, not a frigin VFW hall. kick em out. you don't need this shit.

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