It was somewhere past dark-thirty and I went back to the head

I haven’t had anything to say all week. Are you sad? Too bad.

I mean, a whole lot of nothing has been going on lately. Which is a good thing if you ask me. Plus, it rained all week. It was cold and rainy; essentially NJ all over again, but without the traffic. The rain, as all of us Wake County-ites know is MUCH NEEDED RAIN. Seems that we’re all about to dry up unless Jesus decides to drop like 17 feet of rain on us by tomorrow morning.

I don’t know.

I think I need some help. I need 3 signatures on my “How to be a Southerner” application. I’ve completed the tasks and have one signature from The lovely Eleanor. I figure I can get You and You to swing by and sign the paperwork. Can you 2 help me out?

See, we have a toilet in our living room. And, as I see it, that’s like gotta be the gold standard for Southern-ness. It was out on the deck all week until last night, but I needed it moved in side. Now, it’s in the living room. I’d take pictures and post them, but JewelrySlut is not home right now and I haven’t figured out how to pose on the can with my boxers around my ankles AND get the shot. It will have to wait.

Why do we have a toilet in the living room? Who cares? The important thing is that it’s there.

Really, we’re remodeling the bathroom on the 1st floor. I pulled out the sink and vanity one weekend when I was home and we painted last weekend. We put in a new floor the other night and I caulked in all the trim this morning. All that’s left is to put the toilet back, caulk it and put on the floor seam sealer and we’ll have us a right purty bathroom.

We’re doing this in time for next week’s visit.

From

My

Parents.

Both

Of

Them.

Oh boy. To compound things, I fly out on Sunday night to go back to PA. I’ll be coming home on Thursday morning, mere hours before they arrive. Hopefully time enough to shine the house and make sure it’s presentable. Shmuppie’s 4th birthday is Friday and they’re coming to join in the festivities. Plus, my father has not been here yet and we guilted him into taking a day off from work to see his granddaughter. It’s been 11 months for God’s sake.

So, the bathroom will be done on time because, otherwise, my mother would want to do it next weekend. We’re going to try to avoid doing much work while they’re here. JewelrySlut, my father and I will be going to a Durham Bulls game no Saturday evening. That should be a hoot (Hit the Bull, win a steak). Otherwise, we have no plans…at least none that we know of.

Other than the jet-setting back and forth to PA, work remains annoying. We go live into production at the site on Monday so I expect all hell to break loose. On a good note, a Director in marketing called me to let me know about a position they’re going to be creating that he wants me to apply for. I’ll not assume they’re targeting me for it, but he did call me to all but ask me to post for it. That would get me out of this mess for the start of June. That would be nice. I would be able to do it from home which is doubly nice. RedVendor still is circling me, waiting for us to get going so we can talk about a job, but I’m not sure how I feel. It would be 100% travel. I don’t know how that appeals to me. But, I won’t say no to anything without learning more about it. But, the thought of working from home still and being able to keep all my vacation time and shit is appealing too.

This is scary: My 10-year college reunion is in like 3 weeks. I got something from Rutgers in the mail a few weeks back and emailed a few of the boys about it. We’re all a little taken aback by the whole thing. Was it 14 years already that we all met? 2 of them got to talking about taking their daughters to Dora on Ice or something. Jesus…we are old. One guy’s wife (also a college pal) got the thing in the mail and threw it away; refusing to admit that we were old enough for a reunion. Shit, man, I don’t feel old. Do I have to grow up? Because, I don’t want to. The thought that people see me as an adult makes me want to take my pants off and run around while wearing a silly hat just to prove that I’m not an adult. Is that wrong? I thought there would have been a chance that I’d be in PA that week and could fly JewelrySlut and Shmuppie in for the weekend, but it’s not going to work out. Alas, no chance to see the crew and do something stupid with them.

3 1/2 months until St John! I’m trying to come up with plans for the trip, knowing full well that they will all be thrown aside in favor of drinking rum by the pool. But, the ever-present Tour Director that I am, I’m still trying. I think the plan will be to get out of the house at 3:00 every day and hit a new beach for snorkeling. There are a half-dozen places I want to get to on this trip. I’ll settle for 3. I also have to plan our big day trip to somewhere. I think we’re going to Jost VanDyke one day, but I need to find a boat to take us there. Do we go on a larger boat or shoot the wad and charter something for just the 4 of us? Decisions…decisions.

Well, that’s it for me. I think I’ll go sand some spackle in the bathroom. Work is dead today and I have nothing better to do.

4 thoughts on “It was somewhere past dark-thirty and I went back to the head

  1. Dude, how the hell did I miss this post? Have you been to a pig-pickin' yet? Do you drink your tea so sweet you go into a diabetic coma? If the answer to either of these questions is 'no' then you are NOT Southern, I don't care where you take a shit. Also: my advice? Get yourself one of those cardboard crowns from BK and wear that in public. Works for me!

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