I think I’ve got a touch of island fever

I really owe this dopey thing a real update. I’ve been quite a slacker.

Let’s see…

I’m depressed. And my hand hurts. You’d think that I would know better than to punch a heavy inanimate object. Apparently I don’t know better because I have a slightly bruised hand that will show you otherwise. I know…it’s a game played by kids, but I still get VERY riled up over it. Yesterday’s loss to George Mason was not pleasant.

Makes me think about College hoops. There’s a new series of ads out with t tagline like “I’m so and so…and I love college basketball”. Pencil me in for one. You can film me standing in “the lucky spot” (before yesterday that is) pulling out my hair, flopping down to the couch in a fit of curses, hopping around the room whooping and hollering, falling on the floor etc. It’s a show and a site to behold. JewelrySlut doesn’t see it very often though. She hides a lot when I watch the games. She knows that she doesn’t need to be yelled at because she breathed at the wrong moment and put the JuJu on the team. Because, I’ll tell you all one thing…we the fans, can impact the games. Rooting Rays exist.

But, back to topic…I really do love college basketball. It’s not the same as it was 15 years ago, but it still kicks the NBA’s ass. I hate the NBA. Won’t watch it. I don’t need to see 9 overpaid whiners watch 1 overpaid whiner dribble in circles. I prefer the college game. There’s a lot more going on. Though, it’s getting a little “stand around and watch the other guy”-ish for me. And, sometimes, I feel odd about caring so much about it. Back when I was in high school, the players were older than me. They looked older, they acted older. Now…I was out of Little League by the time these kids were born. They’re kids…yet I scream at them through the TV. They dictate my emotions. After yesterday’s loss, I was shaking and could barely speak. Back in ’04 when UConn beat Duke in the Final 4, I needed a lot of scotch to settle me down. And I don’t even drink scotch. But, goddamn if I don’t just love me some college hoops. I know they’re kids. I know that a lot of them are just waiting to get paid in the NBA. But, come November, they suck me in and don’t let go of me until early April. I really wish UConn had won yesterday. I had my celebration all planned. But, I ‘m also happy for George Mason and am now officially on their bandwagon. When the tournament starts, I root for (in this order): UConn, chaos, the Big East. Chaos won out this year.

3 more games to be played. And…early next Tuesday morning, I’ll probably sit in front of a TV, watching CBS play One Shining Moment. And… (Enjoy this one folks)…as I do nearly every year, I’ll wipe a wee tear from the corner of my eye.

Moving on from the abuse that the sentence above will generate…

Back from Myrtle Beach. We had fun. Except when the Mad Shitter appeared. Or when I was puking up my guts one night. Or for the weather.

Ah hell, we still had a lot of fun.

We kinda celebrated on the trip. HealthCareRelatedCompany gave me another stay of execution through the end of Sept. At that point, it’s either “stay on for good” or gone. The every 3 months thing is getting old for everyone. So, I have all summer to ponder life and find a job.

The ride down went OK. We stopped at South of the Border again…and again…were disappointed. Once we got off 95, it was misting a little bit, so the ride became less pleasant. It was dark and hard to see. But, we made it there in one piece and unloaded our wares.

5 nights, 3 people. We packed:
2 suitcases. One for me (a duffel bag), one for the girls (Shmuppie requires like 17 outfits per day in case of leakage) Plus, the weather was shifty so we had to plan for warm and cold.
A cooler filled with things to eat
A case of beer
A bag containing rum, 2 bottles of wine and Cokes (for mixing)
Another bug bag containing snackables
Beach Chairs
Potty seat
Laptop bag
Clothes hamper filled with games, toys and portable DVD player

The Focus was bursting at the seams. It’s impossible to travel light when you have a child. Impossible.

The following morning we went to the pools. They enclose the semi-indoor pools for the winter. As a result, the pool room looks like a scene from a jungle movie. It gets foggy in there because they jack the pool temperatures to like 120. And, 20 minutes in, you know who dropped a deuce. Ugh. We got her upstairs and washed. We implemented a new rule “No poopies in the potty…no pool”. It worked… We sat on the beach for a while and I got a very sun burnt face.

For the rest of the trip, we did a lot of that…swim in the pools, play in the sane, go to stores (did some quality outlet shopping), ate some food, drank some booze. It was very relaxing. Other than one night of puking, it was a great time. But now we’re home.

That’s OK.

I have a dilemma. I don’t know what to do about it. Actually, it’s more of a potential dilemma.

As we all know, we’re going back to St John in August. We’re going with ChurchBomber and MerlotMan again. Plane tickets are bought, house is half paid for, car is reserved. But…MerlotMan’s father is possibly going a little senile lately and he’s also got a very old aunt with cancer. Now, they’re infinitely more optimistic than I am. They emailed to inquire about trip insurance.

Not good.

A: I don’t know if they can get it. This late in the game, it could be tough. Back in ’04, we tried to get it under similar circumstances. When we found out how sick JewelrySlut’s mother was, we tried to get insurance but were told that any claim we filed likely wouldn’t be processed. We ended up not getting it (and, unfortunately…not needing it). So, we’re looking the same thing straight in the eye. For us, the airfare was free, so it’s no big deal. They could cancel their tickets and hold the credit. The house gets sticky. I believe that if we cancel and they don’t rent it for the same week, we’re out what we’ve deposited ($1000). That’s what we’d really try to get back from any insurance place. I don’t know about it though. I’ll have to look into this more. Then, on the flip side of this is that we don’t want to lose our vacation. We’d feel funny going to St John without them. I could get us booked into a condo across the road form where we stay in like 2 seconds, but…it’s not right. So, I’m kinda scoping out places to stay on St Thomas. We don’t really want to go to St Thomas, but we do have plane tickets that are taking us there. We need to figure out what we’re doing. I don’t have a good feeling about this though. For them to mention the need to get the insurance, we could be in trouble. I just hope things settle down for them (for a number of reasons) and we can all get away. I know they need it now and will certainly need it come August.

I’m a good son-in-law. Wanna know why? Well, this weekend, my father in law’s driving up from FLA. He’s unloading stuff from his house and Quasi has been trying to get some furniture from him since literally 36 hours after Mom died. (He’s tactful that way). JewelrySlut’s got like 2 boxes of stuff that she needs; mostly old photo albums and stuff like that. So, the old man’s renting a van and driving up. Since he is already renting a vehicle for 5 days or so, and Quasi’s loathe to pay for anything, I decided to cash in some points for the Old Man. So, I was able to get 3 of his 4 nights for free using my Hilton Honors points. Ain’t I swell? And, to make this interesting, he’s bringing Miss S with him. Miss S, you ask? Yup…the Old Man’s got a girlfriend. JewelrySlut and Shmuppie met her when they were in FLA a few weeks ago, and reported back that the 2 of them are very happy and that Miss S is a very nice lady. JewelrySlut’s also very happy for her father. It’s good that he’s got someone to be with. We were all worried that he’d end up alone, sitting at home with the dog, just being a cranky old man. But, we’re nervous about the reception they’ll get over at Casa Retard. It could be ugly down there. We hope the 2 of them behave and act nice. But, I could see Quasi and Dingaling just being downright mean to Miss S. This could be very ugly. We’re not even sure if the 2 of them understand that the Old Man and Miss S are “an item”. We don’t think it’s gotten through their skulls yet. This could be fun. I get to meet Miss S on Sunday. She’s apparently a good cook. So, I need to cook up a storm to impress the new lady. I don’t know what to make. I’ll have to do something nice for them.

I think I may be getting bronchitis.

I’m also probably hitting the road next week.

Hooray…another week of this thing turning into the Tales of the BitchyDaddy. Everyone’s favorite blog!

I have other things to write about…but I need more time to come up with good ways to write them. Until the time comes that I can process a thought, you’re all stuck with drivel.

18 thoughts on “I think I’ve got a touch of island fever

  1. Damn Andy, first you troll my site when I'm potty training The Captain, now you're attacking NGD. Were you the kid who shit in his pants until second grade or something?

  2. Urine, from a healthy person actually is sterile, not true for feces. While Chlorine will kill bacteria, the levels needed after Scmoopie drops a duece in a pool are so high that most state health agencies require a complete evaquation of the pool. I mean, you knew that, right?

  3. Hey dicklips (or should I say FEYG?) there's chlorine in the pool for a reason. If it's good enough for you to piss in then a little poopy won't hurt, especially since it's contained in a swim diaper.

  4. If only it had been, WCG…if only it had been. That was our mis-play. We sent her in without one banking on the "if she has one there's no doubt she'll shit" theory. This is why the 2 of us are not winning any parenting awards. that and because Jewelryslut taught Shmuppie to say "I'm ggoing to fuck you up, Daddy". Not as cute as it sounds.

  5. She had lulled us into submission. she was accident free while swimming for 4 months. We had no more reseon to expect her to shit than we did for me. Plus, it was nly the kiddie pool. Those things are icky anyway.

    The funniest thing has to be that Dingbat won't use his real name. I mean…I know who it is. But, he hides behind a series of clever names. This way, we can't be mean to him for not updating in over 3 months

  6. Dude, a 3 year old shitting in a pool = currently in potty training. A grown man shitting in a pool = Larry the Cable Guy. And it's Susie MAE or Cindy LOU. God, if you're going to insult us at least get it right.

  7. You seem to know your redneck girl's names their Warcrygirl. Anyhow, what you call "pottytraining" I call a health issue.

    Anyhow, here's a handy tip If your kid can't control thier sphincter, then please keep them out of public pools.

  8. Hope your friends can make the St John trip. You do realize there are other places in the world than St J? You never know, you might even like them better, but you need to go and take a chance…Just saying.

  9. Plenty of places out there besides STJ. But, we wanted to get back there for this summer. We have a whole list of island and tropical destinatinos to hit, but STJ will probably become an every 2-3 years destination.

    And, no charge for the SOB bathrooms

    Thanks for the child-naming advice

  10. Your kid shit in the hotel pool? That's just fucking great. You've been down South less than what, a year? You're turning into a redneck quicker than I thought. Change your daughters name to something like Cindy-May, or Suzy-lee.

  11. Like flies to shit, we stopped. We refused to stop on the way home though. That would have been excessive. IT's just so awful. We need to discover why so many think it's awesome

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