That barnacle brain don’t bend

So, more on the knee. And, yes, I know that some of you can hear the old age fairy at your door and don’t want to hear it. So, cover your ears.

And, Andy, if you missed the past few entries, please read them so you can properly insult me. Do me that one favor.

I don’t know if it feels better today or I’m just used to the searing pain and general icky feelings. Actually, it’s less the pain and more the icky at this point. Things don’t feel right and t hat’s not good.

Does anyone want another anatomy lesson?

If not (and I don’t imagine You do (just a hunch), please go down…he he I said go down.

See, as mentioned yesterday, I damaged the MCL. What they think I may also have done is ripped some of the meniscus. The meniscus pads the knee. It keeps the bones from rubbing together. So, with part of it torn, it hurts like hell to touch and to have weight on the joint. That’s the painful part. The MCL is more of an instability thing and as long as I keep the joint straight (Not as easy as it sounds), it doesn’t hurt much.

I was lucky not to hit the ACL. See, often, you get those 3 in one happy package called, as a professor once said “The unhappy triad”. Here’s how you do it:
Stand up and rotate your foot outward a little bit. Now, press on the lateral (outside) aspect of the knee. Feel that somewhat unpleasantness along the medial (Inside) edge? That’s it. What happens when you have your foot rotated outward and have a valgus force (From the outside) is that your MCL goes first, then the meniscus rips and then the ACL blows. Then, you lie down and wish for death. I hit numbers one and possibly 2. Fortunately not #3.

So, I’ll see what the next week brings. I’m keeping the brace on except to shower and sleep. I don’t want to get dependent on it, but for the next week, I need it. If it’s no better feeling, I go back to the doctor for an ortho referral where they’d likely do x-rays and an MRI to get a look at the inside. Then, I could need surgery.

Should I get it?

Well, and I’m getting way ahead of things here, I think I would. I don’t want to have to worry about it giving out again all the time. As I was saying to WarCryGirl earlier, I don’t want to have it go on me next summer while I’m tromping through a rainforest. Also, one of my “To Do’s” before I die is learning to surf. Gonna be hard to do if I’m all gimpy. They cut me soon; I can rehab it in time to go to St John and not have to worry about anything. But, as mentioned, I’m getting way ahead of things.

This sure does make the holidays interesting now. We still don’t know what we’re doing. Are we driving to FLA? Are we staying here? Are we going to NJ at all? Here’s my preference (in order)

1: Stay home and have Gramps visit
2: Stay home and have parts of my delusional family visit
3: Die
4: Drive to FLA
5: Go to NJ (Would have to fly because there ain’t no way I’m driving up there around the holidays)

I have nothing against FLA, but really don’t want to drive there and back in the span of like 4 days. It will not be fun. JewelrySlut agrees, but she also doesn’t want to leave her father alone. I can understand that and do not envy her position. She has her father on one hand who’s saying that it’s fine if we don’t visit and she’s got me on the other. Throw in my knee and she’s not having a rosy holiday outlook. My mother wants us to come for New Year’s. We could. We’d have to fly. We could also stay longer because I could go in to work while I was there. I could do it and miss very little (if any) work. Still…not something I want to do. The thought of being in their uncomfortable house is not one I like thinking. I really have no desire to go up there.

What would be nice would be to get ChurchBomber and MerlotMan here for New Year’s. We have some Continental vouchers that are about to expire that we could give them and they could get here for relatively cheap. That, or if we don’t go to FLA, I guess we COULD give them to my parents. Not like they need the $$, but would kvetch about it otherwise. Then, I tell SecretAgentBrother to either drive his ass here or pony up the $130 to come down on Southwest. Then, we can be uncomfortable, but at least be in our own house.

Know what else sucks?

No sex.

I know you and you don’t want to hear about it, but I’m not happy.

I also know that if you don’t properly identify this one when you link to her, she gets all mad. So here you go:


So, as I was saying…I so need me some ah-pussah. (What? I can’t say that here?) If it’s not people in the house, it’s that we’re too drunk. If it’s not that, it’s that we’re so damn tired. If that’s not it, it’s that we need to find a way to do it and not hurt me. Can I wear the knee brace to bed for Sensual Love Making? I’m just wondering. Can someone get me an answer?

Oh..I need to thank NerdFace for mailing me my stapler. I’d take a picture, but I’m too lazy. I’ll just say that it’s red and it’s awesome.

So, as I continue this rambling discourse of nothing…

MerlotMan and I got to talking and we may decide to be snobs when we go to St John. Would it be wrong to charter both a private taxi and a private boat for our journey from St Thomas to St John? See, you fly to St Thomas and then get herded into a minivan/taxi for a 25-30 minute trip across the island. From there, you hook up with a ferry for a 20 minute ride. But, things run on island time. We land at 3:40. We MUST make the 5:00 ferry or else. Or else what? Well, as it is, I’m going to have to ask the rental car company to leave us a key under the floor mat of have them leave it with our handler. If we get the 6:00 ferry, the handler may want more money or not let us in the house. That would suck. So, for not as much money as one would think, I could possibly charter us a ride and a boat. We’d be hella snobs. I think it’s worth looking into. I may need to get a captain’s hat if we do that. That would rule.

Boy, now that I think about it that was one hell of a pointless paragraph. Good for me.

I should just go. This is going nowhere.

24 thoughts on “That barnacle brain don’t bend

  1. I was all excited to tell you that I just sang "Why Don't We Get Drunk" for sober karaoke night, but then you made me sad by having an 8 jillion to 1 Andria:Meany link ratio going on. Anywa, I sang Jimmy Buffet for you, so feel better, you old motherfucker!

  2. Sorry about the knee…
    Sorry about the lackanookie…
    Sorry about the shitty holiday outlook…
    So glad you like you're stapler…but WTF?!? NerdFace?!?…That doesn't even make any sense. You're a big SwollenEyeFace.

  3. Yeah, it does look like the DL for you. And you'd better watch out – that stud they'll call up from Omaha will take your place.

    Myself, I'd choose the Caymans. Or the Yukon. But I'm weird like that.

  4. You're such an asshole. And I <3 you for it.

    I'm all tingly in my naughty bits from all those links.

    Haha. No sex for you, ass monkey. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

  5. Smed: would have thrown you a link, but I forgot your site. After today's entry, let's say that I'm listed as questionable for this weekend. The shuttle from Omaha's all ready to come over here should I not improve.

    NerdFace: Be happy that's all I called you. But, I do it because I love.

  6. Suck it up, it's only a little pain!

    Have the surgery, but only after a second opinion. You're better off at your youthful age to have the surgery than live the rest of your days with a trick knee

  7. You realize that everytime I see me linked in your blog I squeal like a leetle schoolgirl.

    Dude, here's how you do it: Put the brace on, pop a few Aleve, lie flat on your back and let JS ride you into the sunset.

  8. Dude, I had me Seven Different Kinds of Sensual Love this morning (nighttime for you punkists) and I barely used my knee.
    MY wife is awesome like that.
    I'd offer to loan out her advice for how best to do these awesome things, but I really just wanted to boast, so suffer bitch.

  9. Thanks to Andy for not closing his tag. Let's see if that worked.

    Now, enough with all the sex talk. It's been over a week and I'm upset. And to Pimp…I had to go find the O&A reference….I'd forgotten about it. Thanks for catching it though.

  10. I had my Menicus swen back together like 21 years ago, when they were still giving whiskey for pain, and I know have reumatoid artheritius (Fuck you I know I can't spell)and about teo and on half inches of forward play in that wicked bastard. Enjoy old age you young punk!

  11. Old age injuries are so lame. I broke both my arms when young leaping dramatically from a playground swing, and in a week I was seeing if I could break the plaster by flexing. A month ago I broke my toe getting out of a bath, and it still hurts. Lame.

    Your entry reminded me of my husband talking, blah blah accrucio-tartaratus-meninge-20cc's STAT blah blah. Medical stuff, poo. I hope you get better anyway, knee injuries suck.

  12. Hey, thanks so much for your comforting note. I have to admit that the stress I'm going through makes option 3 very appealing right now. A good way of getting through the holiday season. I hope you're able to work out your plans for Christmas and I'm sorry about your knee. Hope things start looking up.

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