I rounded first, never thought of the worst

I’m 31 fucking years old, folks. This kind of shit should not be happening to me.

Last night, I’m in our room unhooking a TV. We brought the one from our room to the basement for the weekend and I was in the process of replacing it. I was plugging and unplugging and decided to take one plug from the power strip to the wall. So, I leaned over the dresser and reached for the outlet.


There went my left knee.

Here’s what I think happened. I was standing with most of my weight on my left leg to best reach towards the outlet (remember, I’m reaching over a low dresser and then back down). When I leaned, my left knee gave in. The knee bent to the right (not a direction meant for knees) and I heard one of the most awful sounds I’ve ever heard. My knee sounded like it shattered. I think I have a MCL sprain. I think this because I saved some of my college textbooks, including an Athletic Training text. When I took that class, I knew I’d never “need” it, but it was cool and I figured it would eventually come in handy. It did.

So, I did the only thing I could think to do: fall to the ground like I’d been shot and start screaming. I mean screaming. Like I had been shot. I didn’t know if I should be screaming, crying or passing out. It was that bad. So, I screamed…and screamed.

JewelrySlut was all the way down here so it took her a few moments to get to me. By then, Shmuppie was standing over my mostly limp and loud body.

Naturally, the phone rang at that moment. I had also unplugged the phone in our room, so JewelrySlut had to go to the kitchen. It was QuasiWife who wanted to babble about this or that. Eventually, I made my way downstairs (mostly on my butt) and I got myself some ice. After I could see straight, I had JewelrySlut perform a few tests on me. I don’t think my ACL is torn. The mechanics of the injury were there for an ACL tear, but I think the test was negative. The MCL test also seemed not to indicate a tear, but I think that’s the problem. I can’t put weight on the leg and it’s starting to lock up.

Thanks to the joy of HMOs, I have an appointment at 11:30 with my primary…just to get a referral to an orthopedist. I think the end result will be crutches, a brace and some PT. I can’t fucking wait.

I mean, who the hell blows their knee while putting a plug into the wall.

Well, time to go. Wish me luck.

Update time

So, I’m back and I was right. MCL sprain.

They had a med student see me first. I told her before we got started that I went to school for exercise physiology and was hitting the Athletic Training book last night. She’s also an AT, so she went to work doing all the tests I had JewelrySlut do. The force of the injury wasn’t enough (or so they think) to tear a meniscus. That’s a good thing. Just a sprain and a lot of pain. There’s not much to do for the next 5-6 days but see if it gets worse. I bought a CVS-knee brace and have it on. It’s not that bad as long as I keep the knee straight. The MCL (if you care) is the ligament that runs down the inside portion of your knee. It joins up the Tibia (shin bone) and Femur (thigh bone). It holds the knee in place and doesn’t allow it to go side to side. So, it’s mostly OK to bend the knee, but it’s painful to turn it. I was doing a lot of sweating in the treatment room from the pain. The student felt bad because I imagine I was quite red.

But, maybe this is #3. 2 weeks ago, my back and chest hurt (likely a swimming overexertion). Then we had the Tales of the Thanksgiving Eye, and now this. Please let this be it. Please.

13 thoughts on “I rounded first, never thought of the worst

  1. Dude. That sucks. I've heard that drinking lots of liquor takes the pain away. Juat saying.

    Also, don't feel bad about getting old — my 103-year-old great-grandma is in better health than I am, and I'm 23.

  2. Let's see…first JS punches you in the eye. Now you're maimed. Next she'll be smothering you with a pillow in your sleep.

    Dude, if she suddenly starts making you homemade milkshakes hobble out of there as fast as you can! ;)

  3. Ouch. That blows. But don't feel bad…I once wrenched my back reaching up to put shampoo in my hair, and sprained my ankle stepping out of the bathroom. I hope it's not anything serious.

  4. Holy shit! I was right; when it rains, it pours. Every now and then I'll tweak one of my knees but nothing like what you just described. Mostly it's my ankles; they just can't carry all this weight, I guess.

    *singing* What a drag it is getting old…

  5. So are you day to day? Or do you have to go on the DL for a while and they'll bring up some hot shit rookie from Omaha to take your place.

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