Got rope?

It sure gets dull around here when I’m not having airport-related woes, doesn’t it?

Saturday, we picked Shmuppie up from the airport. She and my mother had been in Bermuda on a cruise.

Here’s another reason why it’s fun to have a 5-year old:
Me: When you went to the beach, did you go in a taxi or did you ride the big bus?
Shmuppie: We rode in a car.
Me: OK. It was a taxi car, right?
Shmuppie: Yea, but the seats were looking at each other and we were looking at the other people the whole time.
Me and JewelrySlut: ??
Shmuppie: And the driver sat where the Moms sit.

OK…did anyone get that? Because, suddenly, JewelrySlut and I knew exactly what she was saying. When I told my father the story, he got it too.

See, in Bermuda, they drive on the wrong side of the road in British cars. So, the driver was in the Mom’s seat (the right side). It’s funny to see how she talks things out sometimes.

In fact, I heard someone at the Y yesterday say something utterly stupid, but I forgot what it was (more reason why I need a parrot on my shoulder at all times to take notes for me). I want to make up a segment called something like “Who said it”. You can guess if it was an idiot or Shmuppie.

Speaking of idiots, can someone get me a map of Durham, NC? I need to find a nice public square. As I see it, the only way Mike Nifong can make it better for us is to go to that square with a length of rope and hang himself.

What a mess.

It’s horrible on about 47 levels. Here are 2:

1: The kids from the team who got charged and dragged through the mud really got fucked over. Their whole lives will be tainted because of this asshole’s stupidity. From what’s coming out, they knew early on that there was no evidence and that woman may have been making it all up. But, he pressed on. And…where are Jesse and Al? Weren’t they here to vilify and publicly shame the accused players? Where’d they go? Hello?

2: It sets a BAD precedent for women who actually are sexually assaulted. Hoe many women may stay quiet now because they just assume that their claims will be taken less seriously? That might actually be the worse part of all this. If a woman in Durham, or anywhere, fears coming forward with a report of an attack because of how this was bungled, Nifong really does deserve to hang.

Moving on now…

Things are quieting down here in the Kingdom.

BatShitCrazyPearl, however, is up to tricks again. Last week, she announced that she was no longer paying her dues because there were some weeds in front of her house. I ignored the whole mess, knowing we’d just fine the ever living shit out of her and eventually, she’d be forced to pay up or foreclose.

Yesterday, CrazyAnne was handing out fliers for yet another Community Watch program meeting when BatShitCrazyPearl came after her to announce, yet again, why she was not paying dues. CrazyAnne told her that when she piles rocks up in her front yard, it’s kinda hard for the landscapers to properly mow, and that maybe she should consider moving the piles of rocks. CrazyAnne (earning her name for the day) then told BatShitCrazyPearl that if she continued to not pay her dues, maybe we’d just shut off her water. While this isn’t entirely possible, it was meant as a scare tactic. BatShitCrazyPearl replied by saying “I’m from Africa. I can bathe in a bucket.”

Good times.

Also, /BatShitCrazyPearl seems to be running her daycare business again. She’s been told that if we see it, she’d be fined. Well, we’re now in the evidence gathering stage. I made RedNeckPam mad the other day when I wouldn’t start fining the other day. I explained that we need a nice pile of pictures of cars coming and going in the lot, blocking spaces and causing a mess and a log book of in and out times.

As I’ve said so many times before, this is one group of idiots fighting with another. It’s a lot of fun.

That’s about it. Life is quiet this week. Shmuppie has day camp this week and next and JewelrySlut has been going to the Y a lot to sweat to the oldies.

I’m sure it’s just a matter of time before something happens to give me a stomach ache.

5 thoughts on “Got rope?

  1. I don’t know, it seems now the entire country knows what a fuckstick Nifong is and that the boys are innocent.

    Hoe many women may stay quiet now because they just assume that their claims will be taken less seriously?

    Yet another reason why we love you.

  2. Okay I’m waaay late for this due to “them” trying to work me to death, but I LOVE that you kept the typo. Have to go now, as i flung really expensive food across my desk in a hunger induced panic.

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