Picture Pages

We went to the NC State Fair last weekend. It’s quite a scene, and nothing that northerners like us have any point of reference to. There’s no real state fair in NJ. And, since the NC Fair purports to be one of the nation’s larger fairs, it continues to amaze us.

It’s just huge and I took some pictures. Let’s go on a photo tour.

This is where there was some sort of pottery exhibit.
pottery
A few things about it. When I first saw it, I read it as “poetry”. So, a poetry exhibit confused me. Then, I saw the guy in the middle. From a distance, he looked like a mixed martial arts fighter. So, I was wondering why A: There was a poetry tent and B: a guy from the UFC was advertising it. Needless to say, I was wrong on both fronts. It was pottery and that guy was a sweaty black man. The writing above him says “And fire will test the quality of each man’s work. 1 Corinthians 3:13″.

All I can say is “What the fuck?”

We wandered for quite a while until we got near the animals. There, we saw the following sign. It needs no further comment.
sale

When we got to the goat building, we saw the following:
cots
The goat people (and all the other animal people) come out and show off their animals. If you look at the picture, you can see a cot. The goat people sleep with their goats. That scares me on a number of levels.

In another tent, they were showing goats. I saw the monks and giggled.
monks
Monks may not love Jesus, but they sure do love goats.

We got to the midway, bought some ride tickets and put Shmuppie’s life in the hands of the carnies who hastily assembled the rides.
ride
Shmuppie actually liked this one.

This next one is more than a little mean, but so am I.
fat

This girl was watching Shmuppie ride the up and down thing. For Chrissakes, folks! Look at the size of that kid! She was maybe 10 years old and bigger than me.

I wonder why…
fried
From the top left (going across the top): Ribbon fries, deep fried cookies, deep fried Coca Cola, and deep fried Twinkies
Row 2: Lemonade, deep fried cheese burger, deep fried candy bars (3 Musketeers, Snickers, Milky Way bars), fried cheesecake on a stick…dipped in chocolate
Bottom row: Bloomin’ Onion, deep fried PB&J, funnel cakes.

This booth did NOT sell the fried pickles or fried vegetables or fried Key Lime Pie or fried anything else I saw.

This picture amused the shit out of me.
legs

The kid’s legs seem to have been absorbed into the cow. Is the kid happy? Orgasmic? Horrified?

I don’t know but I loved the “sculpture”. I had to halt out progress to take this picture. We were near the end of the day and it was hot and crowded at the time. All worth it if you ask me.

There were more pictures, but that’s enough for now. We had a good time and Shmuppie didn’t completely melt down from sensory overload. We spent under $100, and that may be a state record for a family of 3.

We’ll be back next year.

5 thoughts on “Picture Pages

  1. What, you didn’t buy a pair of Africans? You could rent them the empy until next door to BatShitCrazyPearl. And that sculpture was probably the Rapture, dude. You should have put a fried twinkie in its hand before you took the pic. Glad you had fun, we weren’t going ANYWHERE near the fair, that’s for crazy people.

  2. Ugh. That picture of the fat kid depresses me. I wonder how many rednecks paid the $150 and then were pissed to find out it wasn’t for an ACTUAL African?

  3. Okay, that was supposed to read”…the empty UNIT…” but you’re a smart boy keen on typos. You’d have figured it out. Too bad there was no Beer on a Stick, you’d have bought that.

  4. Oh and before I forget the song…”picture pages, picture pages, picture pages, picture pages, time to get your crayons and your pencils! picture pages, picture pages,picture pages, picture pages, Time to get your picture pages, so Bill Cosby can do a picture page with you!!”

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