What do you like?

I have a few things to say, but not all at once. I can draw out the suspense better this way.

Anyway…I’m here in NJ and MarcTheRetard (MTR) asks me:
Dooooooooo you liiiiiiiike Mooooooooooviesssssssss (He doesn’t quite draw out words like a Southerner (they’re better known for adding syllables) but more like Dory the fish from Finding Nemo when she starts talking to the whale. Know what I mean? No? OK…he’s a retard. Let’s leave it there)

Anyway…that made me think of something (JewelrySlut is at home reading this giggling)

It’s 1997. We’re on a cruise. It’s a big family vacation. It’s me and JewelrySlut (only thing is that in 1997, had I known what a blog was, her name would have been DemureLabTech or something. Fortunately, she grew up into a sex-crazed JewelrySlut), my parents, my brother and Claude (The Italian who came for 2 weeks and then never left).

We’re at dinner.

Now, some more words on Claude. He loves to talk and was quite famous for his speeches. They were always amusing, but more so because he used to do a fantastic job of butchering the English language. In fact, when he and Shmuppie spoke on New Year’s, it was epic. Anyway…he liked to talk and make bold proclamations.

So…we’re at dinner:

Claude: I like movies

Us: (All with arched eyebrows because we all know that something is coming) Oh?

Claude: I like all kinds of movies. I like comedies, dramas (but he didn’t say it like you or I would, he said it sounding more like the word “jam” (the “A” sound that is), action movies. I like movies.

Us: (Waiting)

Claude: Know what else I like?

NogoodMother: What?

Claude: Ice Cream. I love ice cream. Vanilla, chocolate, strawberry, all flavors.

Us: (Still waiting)

Claude: Know what else I like?

Us: No?

Claude: I like dick.

With this, he simply picked up his silver wear and went back to his mountain of food.

Us: (Stunned silence)

NoGoodFather: Did you say “dick”?

Claude (mouth full with his 4th steak of the night): Yup.

You had to be there.

So, in any event, when MarcTheRetard asked me if I liked movies, I had to stop myself from offering that I also liked ice cream.

And dick.

At some point, I will share the details of our horrible trip to Myrtle Beach last weekend.

And why going to wakes really sucks taint.
A lot.

2 thoughts on “What do you like?

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