Guess what I did tonight?

So…still here in NJ this week.

I forgot to mention that when MarcTheRetard asked me if I liked movies it was I am Legend that he was offering me.

That’s right douchebags!

I am Legend

Fuck to the yeah!

So, I even went out and bought a new S-Video cable, hoping to run the laptop through the room TV. WRONG!

(Like Dr. Cox now…)

So…I had to watch it on the laptop. It made no matter. The movie was awful and I loved it. Vampires, Will Smith, a wholly terrible ending. What else could I have wanted?

So…we all know what I did tonight. Come on, folks. We remember
this post, don’t we?

Stop shaking your heads at me like you didn’t expect it. You all know me too well.

I saw me some motherfuckin’ Clovermotherfuckinfield.

That’s right.

Holy mother of God. I have looked into the eye of beauty itself and it shall be called Cloverfield.

Never before have I seen a movie that was so exquisitely…delightfully…dare I say splendidly horrid. I loved every fucking second of Cloverliscious shit that it doled out to me. Of course, the seconds were scant…seeing how the movie (credits included) is barely 1:20 long. Good thing I plan to expense the cost of the ticket.

I was in the theater with 3 other people, a mother and her kids. When it ended, they started yelling at the screen. Not like black people do as in a “Don’t open that door, Latisha” kind of way, but more in a rich white people way.

As in:
Mom: That’s it? That was a movie?
Son: That was terrible
Daughter: I have to text Adam (or someone) and tell them not to see it
Me (Bent at the waist laughing)
Mom: I mean…that sucked
Me: (Gasping for breath) It was every bit as horrible as I had hoped it would be. (Turning to the kids) Kids…may this be a lesson to you. Don’t get jobs that require you to travel to places far from home where you will think seeing movies like this is a good idea.

I did think some things in how the movie was done were actually good. The non-use (for the most part) of the monster was good, but the awfulness of every other part just made the movie a splendid suckfest.

Would I go see it again?

Come on. Don’t insult me.

Will I buy the DVD?


I don’t know if it’s the fact that I’m sick, or that something I ate for dinner seems to have poisoned me, but I am in a state of utter bliss over the movies I have had a chance…nay…been blessed to have seen over the past 2 nights.

Sometimes…life can be good.

One last side note.
I had a good parenting moment today.
Shmuppie’s been sick lately so when JewelrySlut woke up her from her nap today and said that maybe she shouldn’t go to swimming, the kid freaked the fuck out. I called and managed to soothe the child by saying that perhaps she could ask Mommy to get out the portable DVD player and put on a movie for her in her new bedroom clubhouse.

Well, I was told that was a great idea. When I called back before the movie, Shmuppie was under her bed (the bed’s a loft…so we made the underneath into a clubhouse (I even strung up rope lighting for her(It’s waaaaay cool))) watching Willy Wonka and eating dinner.

As I told JewelrySlut, I was able to come up with this because I was like a general, 5 miles behind the front and was able to see the whole battle. JewelrySlut, unfortunately, for her, was in the middle of Manhattan dodging a 250′ tall monster.

See how I did that?


5 thoughts on “Guess what I did tonight?

  1. That was just the FIRST Cloverfield?!?!
    Guess you’re gonna have to make some more business trips, my friend.

  2. Back from … wherever I was that meant I haven’t read you in a while. Hi.

    Haven’t seen cloverfield yet. Saw I am legend and thought, cool, but I coulda made it better. Zombievampires, rawr.

    Also, this may be delayed, but lol@lolkids. Whatever hell you’re going to for laughing at kid’s misspellings and grammatical trainwrecks, seeya there.

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