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5:30: CREAK! (This door, while annoying is an excellent early warning system and that’s why I don’t fix it)
“Are you wet?”
“No”
“Then go to the bathroom and go back to bed!”
I drift back to sleep. Through the haze, I hear the cat yelping.
(In my head) “Goddamn mother blerging stupid cat…my life for a pellet gun”
“Daddy?”
At [...]

More basement updates over there.
Also, poor JewelrySlut is going to FLA next week to go see her father and step-mother (I never know how to refer to her…) They haven’t met Chicken yet and it’s time for her to suck it up and leave one asylum for another.
I’ll be flying solo with Shmuppie for the [...]

I tend not to make New Year’s Resolutions because I tend not to care all that much and always end up forgetting about them.
Had I made them for 2009, I’d have hoped I would have had the foresight to say:
Do whatever is necessary to make sure JewelrySlut stays healthy during the pregnancy.
Do whatever is necessary [...]

Having finished Christmas, it was time to prepare for the assault.
My mother called: “We’ll be there in an hour”
Oh boy…up to the kitchen we went.
(Mind you, I’m in a pair of warm-up pants and a t-shirt. JewelrySlut is in the same outfit and the girls are in pajamas…we’re not exactly in the mood to [...]

Now it’s time for us to open gifts.
Mind you…with the exception of last year, I have thrown out, unused, nearly every gift I’ve received from my parents since I moved out of the house. If I didn’t throw them out, they went to Goodwill. Why? Because my mother buys me clothes that [...]