Hmmm…at current time, the dopes down the road are sending us emails to tell us that they’ll never read emails from us ever again and that we should never email them ever again…and again.

Annual Homeowner’s meeting tonight. I plan to hand out lists for people that show things that are guaranteed to be said at the meeting. Mostly, they’re things BigSexyGlenn will say. It should be fun.

I helped at school today. The kids are evil and the gym teacher is a saint.

I have nothing else to say for now. I’ll just sit here and bounce on my big ball.

When I doubt…post pictures

It’s strawberry season at the Farmer’s Market. they’re tasty but pricey. We usually just graze on the samples. When my parents visited us in 2007, we bought a flat of them. My father then ate most of the flat and was so very sick. Naturally, we laughed at him

Recently, we were feeding Chicken her dinner. It usually consists of 3 cubes of vegetable, 3 cubes of fruit, some yogurt and cookies. On this night, she demanded more food. I gave her a rib bone to gnaw on. she was thrilled

Last week, I had to visit a client site in Greensboro where we’re installing a bunch of devices.

And, yesterday was Shmuppie’s 8th birthday. I am not sure how that happened. I guess this is what I get for not having been home for roughly 4 1/2 of those years. You look up and you have an 8 year old. For any number of reasons, I’m happy not to be traveling any more. It’s funny how quickly a very strange way of life can become normal. Returning to a normal way of life is better. It’s nice to sit down to dinner with the family. It’s nice to watch TV with JewelrySlut. I couldn’t have gotten to the job I’m in now with out that travel, but let’s hope it is over for now. Of course, I now have NOTHING to write about.

Anyway…

She got a Razor Scooter

She also got a badminton (Really spell checker…there’s an “n” in there? Who knew?) set and a camera from us.

Otherwise, it’s Spring. I need to go buy JewelrySlut her Mother’s Day gift. She should enjoy it.

We’re trying again to grow things in our little yard. This year, I’ve annexed some land outside the fence. I’m waiting for someone to bitch about it. Maybe I’ll take pictures of it and post them as another lame-ass entry.

So many things…so few typing skills

On occasion, I get complaints. Mostly of the “you don’t write often enough” variety.

Blow me…hard.

I know I’ve been a bad boy lately, but sometimes, life gets in the way of my meager typing skills.

I’ll recap the last several weeks and then attempt, at a later date, to get into more detail about them.

Basement:
The work is 99% done. The plumber’s coming back any minute now to repair the toilet tank. The seals or something aren’t sitting properly and we need a new tank on the toilet. The drip drip drip of water on the floor was not in the estimate. We need to get one closet door painted. It hadn’t come in

***2 minutes later*** Said plumber just arrived carrying the new tank. It’s the wrong model. Back to the drawing board…

So, the door hadn’t come in when we had everything painted. We also need a cat door cut into that same door. We held off doing it until after the inspections because someone may have raised an eyebrow at it. 2 doors need to be planed down a bit and then we’re done.

I’m in the office as of this week. It’s smaller than I was used to, but as I tell everyone, I used to have way too much space. It’s cozy in here and I’m figuring out where to store all of my stuff. It’s been quite liberating; throwing away old files and things I don’t need but, for one reason or another, had held on to.

We need to do more moving this weekend. The storage unit still has things that need to come in to the basement…the guest room bed included. That will leave 2 piles; attic and “Where the fuck is that going?” Unfortunately, we have an excess of tables and chairs in the unit. I don’t know what to do with them. I hate to get rid of that stuff because, we’ll need it should we ever move to a proper house, but, for now, there’s no room down here and I’m not lugging a table into the attic. We’re almost resigned to needing a small storage unit for the foreseeable future. That saddens us.

Vacation:
The trip to EI went really well. Maybe I’ll post some pictures. That will count as an entry, right? We had good weather all week and had a lot of fun. Shmuppie behaved and Chicken practiced her sitting up and rolling. It really was a nice trip and we all got a chance to relax.

Cleveland:
I followed up the vacation with a marvelous trip to Cleveland. 60 of us gathered for a 3-day training session for work. It was good to meet all the people I’ve been working with since December. No midget attacks though. I did get to see both of their buildings and was lucky enough to see the poor people wait for the bus.

The last morning…the night after the last night…one person came up to me and said “I saw a totally different side of you last night”. Really? You mean the lunatic side? I had spent a good part of the evening discussing the nuances of southern living in my Ricky Bobby/Forrest Gump hybrid voice. People were crying. Good times.

Work:
There’s the main reason I’ve been a bad boy. Months ahead of schedule, they’ve turned me loose on an account. I’m back working on Medco. It’s easier to shake herpes than it is for me to shake them. So, I’m back working with them; currently with the people in Memphis I met twice last year. I was told when I was hired that it would be 6-9 months before I was given an account because, until then, I’d be more or less useless as I learned the job. 4 months into it, they’ve given me an account. It’s cool and scary at the same time. I’m good at managing a client and getting good at using our tools. I’m admittedly very weak on some of our specific procedures, so it’s crash course time for me! But, in the end, when I look back at career moves, this may be the 2nd best one I ever made. Leaving Medco was the best one…things didn’t turn out all that well from 2006-2009, but it was the gateway to this job. I’m happy and more or less stress-free!

Life and such:
Chicken is 8 months old. Not sure how that happened. As of this morning, Shmuppie will be attending year-round school next year. She got accepted and can get out of the educational cesspool she’s been in for 3 years. She starts the 3rd grade on July 9. We need to talk to the school to see what track she lands in. We’re hoping for 3 or 2 (not that any of this means anything to anyone). After the somewhat staggered start to the year, the kids fall into a “9 weeks in, 3 weeks out” routine. She’ll have vacations at non-traditional times of the year. Me being me…I’ve already identified the breaks by their unofficial names: Florida, Disney, Emerald Isle, and Caribbean. We both think it will be a good move for multiple reasons. We have lost all confidence in her current school and think the continual schooling will help too. Face it folks, they’re doing it in Asia…we should be doing it here too.

That’s it for now. I hope you’re satisfied.

A tribute to Big Daddy Drew

I got the following email the other day. Let’s have some fun with it, shall we?

Based on your resume and professional past, I can assume that you’re at a certain point in your life.
That’s amazing. You made an assumption that I am somewhere. I’m impressed, but not blown away. I mean, I have to be somewhere, don’t I?

Can you look at your life and say that you are absolutely fulfilled?
Can a person be fulfilled? I suddenly get the feeling I’m not and am worried and anxious to know what else you have to offer me. Riches? Glory? Bigger boobs?

Looking back twenty years from now, will you be happy if you stayed where you are today?
No. I’m sitting in my basement in a desk chair. In 20 years, I’m pretty sure I’ll smell and my right knee will have cramped. Plus, I can’t stay here…the contractor’s coming in a few weeks and this will NOT be a safe place to be sitting. You know…with the sawing, hammering, manly stuff and the like.

Will you be able to look back and say that you chased all your dreams and did everything you could to realize those dreams?
(Eyes downcast). Not unless I take up ballet.

Most people can’t and won’t be able to answer yes to these questions.
It’s like you can see me from your computer! You know my disappointment!

I’ve come across so many individuals that have expressed an interest in starting their own business yet have been crippled by not knowing where to start.
Lack of knowledge is the #1 cause of crippling injuries among balding white males aged 32-37.

I work for a company that specializes in helping those exact people get started.
I can Walk again! Praise the Almighty!

As a franchise coordinator, I connect business professionals with franchise consultants that assist in researching and setting up a franchise business.
Oh…you’re not going to help me walk again, are you? You want me to open a Hardees?

I’d love to speak with you about whether this opportunity is something you’d be interested in.
I thought you were going to help me walk again…and get wonderful, perky, lush breasts. You’re a mean lady!

If you’re ready to take some action towards achieving your dreams, it’s time to act.
I can’t! I’m stuck in my chair!

Please visit our website at www.thisisastupidemail.com, take a look around, and fill out the “Get Started Today” form. There are no obligations and our services are FREE to you. Filling out that form allows me to gather some information about you so that it saves us some time in our initial conversation allowing us to focus on what’s really important.
My boobs.

I hope to hear from you soon!
I hope to be able to rise from this chair one day.