Strut naked through the crosswalk in the middle of the week

A little weekend quickie for the fans out there in computer-land:

When I get home at night, one of the first things I have to do is change my clothes. It’s not like I have to wear anything fancy to work, I just want to get changed. I usually end up in shorts and a T-shirt. Then, I can think about relaxing. Until then, I’m still in Work-mode.

Thursday, I get home and do my thing. After changing, I start imploring JewelrySlut to do the same. I have my reasons: She shouldn’t stay in her work clothes because they make me not relax because, in my mind, she can’t be relaxed while in work clothes (There I go again with the commas and parentheses) , and I get to see her boobs.

Here’s how it went down:

I’m just lying on the bed, maybe with ESPN on. She comes in and takes off her shirt.
Me: (Sweeet)
Shmuppie: I see your BOOBIES. (We’re teaching the kid well.) I want touch them. (She also likes to grab her mom’s boobs all the time. Hmmm..wherever did she learn to do that???)

JewelrySlut: Yes, those are Mommy’s boobies and you may not touch them.

Off comes the bra

Me: (SWEEEEEEEET)

Shmuppie: I see your boobies!
This is accompanied by this noise she likes to make. (Make your mouth into a little “o” like you’re surprised. OK…now, kinda breathe out, but from your throat. Kinda makes a surprised-like/guttural-type sound.) That’s the sound. Lately, the makes this sound all the time. Like when she opens the fridge to get some yogurt. It’s like she’s surprised to see it there or something.

So, JewelrySlut puts on a shirt and goes to the bathroom.

Shmuppie sees the deflated bra lying on the bed.

Shmuppie: Hey! There’s no boobies!

Have fun.

The NoGoodFamily will be here all week.

Don’t forget to tip your waitress.

Chitchat and chatter fill up the platter with a garnish of pure make believe

This DiaryLand thing is cool. When I started, I figured I might find 2 or 3 people who would feed my ego and read it. Once I learned of the quid pro quo that exists (I’ll post a comment on your site and make you a favorite if you do it for me) things got easier. People flocked to my sight by the ones and I was happy.

I noticed a few people from far flung reaches of the Earth who have come to my site. I have at least 1 Australian (You know who you are.) I love Australia and want to be Australian some day. I need a job where I can take a 3-month vacation so I can go there for a long while. Go read This Book . It’s an awesome book about an awesomely odd (in a good way) place. I mean, there’s town called Tittybong for crigey’s sake!

I have people from New Zealand on my sight. I hope they’re Maori Dudes or something. The thought of a person who expresses himself with his or her tongue is always nice.

***Rough Segway coming*** Seatbelts on!

Quick story…Back in 1992, JewelrySlut and I met. We were both lifeguards at a summer camp for awful children. I had a HoseBeast girlfriend at the time, but that didn’t stop Little Miss Flirtypants. Picture it, I’m 17 and she’s 21. It’s kinda hard to be an effective lifeguard when…you know…it’s hard. So, we flirted all silly for most of the summer. I can only imagine how pathetic we looked to the rest of the staff. But, they let us have our fun. So…getting to the point…one day I must have made some evil remark. JewelrySlut commented that I sucked. I said “No. I lick and probe.” I then turned and walked away. From what I’ve been told, that was soooo the RIGHT answer. (By the way, the point of that was about the whole tongue expression thing. See how that works?)

***Rough Segway is now over*** When the car stops, please step off to the right. Please step off to the right when the car stops.

So, back to New Zealand. I’d also like to think that maybe it’s the Thompson Twins. I think I remember seeing something on VH-1 or something that they now live in New Zealand. (Since I’m an idiot, I couldn’t think of a Thompson Twins song to sing to myself just there. Instead, I started singing “Everybody wants to rule the world” by those other guys. Was that the video in the library with the saucy librarian-type or am I totally out of my mind?)

Jesus Christ, I’m all over the fucking place this morning.

There’s also been someone from the UK. Tally-ho and Cheerio guvvnah. Do you want some faggots with your mushy peas? If you want to keep reading (whoever you are), I’ll need you to mail be a bottle of HP sauce every 6 months. Not the fruity or Indian kind. Plain old HP sauce. Thanks in advance. Think of it as a Lend Lease for the 21st Century.

I’ve also come to realize something else. At LittleBlueBox company where JewelrySlut works, the Internet Police block some blogs. She can’t get, for example, to The Porkaverse or to PornoBuddie’s site. I’ll guess it’s because they’re somewhat popular and, hence, evil and non-productive. Ever since DangerSpouse linked to me, I’m seeing a lot of hits from his site. And when I say a lot, I mean like 4. So, I reasoned this: He’s in NJ. We live in NJ. JewelrySlut can’t access the site due to its popularity. People she works with must read it. Some of them may know her. Some of them may have linked to me. JewelrySlut’s not sure how she feels about that. So, if you work for LittleBlueBox company, leave my wife alone. You know who she is. She’s the embarrassed one who’s constantly questioning her life decisions.

Moving right along…

So, the NoGoodMother calls the other morning to tell me to drop SecretAgentBrother a note of condolences or something. See, he’s confirmed that NoGoodEx-Sister-In-Law/SecretAgentEx-Siter-In-Law (what do I call her now?) has already got herself setup with another man. She was maybe hooked up before they separated. Now, no matter how you feel, that’s not cool. But, here’s the point of this rambling nonsense. He called the NoGoodMother the other night and opened the phone conversation with “That fucking whore was cheating on me!” My mother told me that, since we sound so much alike on the phone, she didn’t know if it was him or me calling her.

What?

Hello?

I mean, what?

Are we reading too much into this when we deduce the following?
A voice which belongs to one of her sons has called announcing that his “Fucking whore” wife is cheating on him. She had 2 sons. One is divorcing. The other is happily married. They sound NOTHING alike on the phone. She doesn’t know which one the call is from? She thinks it’s possible for JewelrySlut to be cheating on me? What?

I mean, JewelrySlut IS cheating on me. If you look closely at a picture of Shmuppie, you can see that, beyond a shadow of a doubt, Patrick Ewing is really her father. I’m OK with that though.

But…what the fuck?

I feel bad for my pal Supermom lately. She’s having babysitting problems. Not good times. We’ve had our share of issues with our sitters, but we worked them out and now everything’s cool with them. Shmuppie goes to a woman’s house near where we both work. There are 2 or 3 illegals working there and maybe 10 or so kids. We love the place. It’s convenient and CHEAP. And when I say cheap, I mean that it’s only $200/week. For those of you with no kids, yes, that is cheap (For NJ anyway). We went to see this one woman when we were looking and she wanted $265 a week in cash. You left the cash on the counter on Monday morning or she wouldn’t take your kid (No handy, no finger up your ass. No nothing.) “Want to leave a check? That will be $320, thank you. Oh, and did I mention that I take off 2 weeks around the holidays? You’ll still pay me for those 2 weeks though. It’s my vacation.”

Excuse me? Fucking highway robbery.

So Shmuppie’s in the other woman’s house. This fall, they started making it more like a preschool. They’re learning letters and numbers. They do colors in English and Spanish. We’re happy with that. Although, we keep hearing that Shmuppie gets bored with them. She already knows all her letters and numbers, so I think the less-cute, more-dumb kids make her mad. She needs to learn that her beauty and intelligence are crosses to be born. I’ve done it and am OK. But, they love her there. Plus, we try to bring in extra things when they have show and tell or for holidays. So, they have extra reason to like us.

Sometimes I wonder why people have kids. For example, I drive Shmuppie to work in the morning. We get there, I unstrap her from her seat and we walk to the house. We hug, kiss and tickle before I leave. It’s a good way to start the working part of my day. Now, there’s this other kid there who’s maybe 4. His father stops at the curb. The kid lets himself out of the truck (no car seat!!!) and walks himself to the door as Dad speeds off.

He just leaves his kid.

One day, it was absolutely pouring. I was with Shmuppie under the umbrella and this poor kid had to walk to the house by himself. It was cold and he was getting soaked. I ended up standing there with my mouth open. It was only after he walked by me that I kicked myself for not going to get the little tyke myself and walking him in. I mean, what’s the sense of having a child if you don’t care enough to walk him or her to the babysitter’s door in the pouring rain? That pisses me off.

In fact, a lot of parents (and other people) piss me off. Were these people ever kids? Or, did they sprout from the Earth as nosy-ass adults?

Memo to idiots: Kids fall down. Kids do stupid things. Kids play with poop. Kids eat bugs. Kids get in fights. You did the same things. Why can’t my kid?

I’m sure there are things that we do that could easily get us locked away. But, know what? Our kid knows how to behave in public and knows what is right and wrong. We haven’t taken her to too many places because it’s not worth the hassle for us and those around us. Don’t take your kid out in public if they’re sick and or tired. It’s not worth the suffering you will impart to others around you. Don’t take your kid to “adult places”. It’s not a cool thing to do. That’s another reason why I <3 Da Pimp. It’s clear that he and Mrs. Pimp believe in the same way of parenting as we do. His kids were wonderfully behaved in a busy public place. We need more people with common sense. That’s all parenting is: Common Sense. There’s no book to teach it. You have to go with what feels right. Know what? When you’re wrong, the kid WILL let you know. That may come in the form of any of the following: crying, shitting, puking, snotting, yelling, stomping or pouting. But, you learn and go on and try to avoid doing that. If you do it right, our kids turn out well.

Now I have to climb off my soapbox.

Know how I write…with the commas and parentheses and whatnot? That’s how I talk. And you wonder why JewelrySlut drinks like she does? She has to manage 2 toddlers at all times.

Love ya babe.

I like how everyone responded to my request for questions and photos.

Assmonkeys… (by the way, someone searched on Ass Monkey and got to me. Sweet. I’m waiting for “ass some sugar”. While you’re at it, google that one on for size for a treat)

I do have a travel challenge or 2 to work on.

Oh…job guy called me yesterday. He’d been out of the office attending to a “personal matter”. My cell phone is on my desk and is poised for action.

Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please

Just want to disappear..wishing I were someplace other than here

I feel like I should be posting something for all 2 of you who read this shit but this job is sucking the life out of me today. Let’s see, I’m here for 7 hours so far today and I think I’ve had maybe 15 minutes of work to do. I can expect maybe 5 more in the next 2 hours. Then I can go home.

I spent the morning designing a home brochure for ourselves. Once ShittyYellowRealtor lets us out of our contract, or it just dies s natural death, we plan to list on our own for a little bit just to see. We figure that we can drop the price 10-15G’s right away and still make more. No commission = more money for me! My little brochure isn’t bad. It’s better than what the realtor made and had available.

Shmuppie’s 32 feet of fun is supposed to arrive tomorrow! I may have to set it up after she goes to bed and start playing.

Am I a feyg if I like appletinis?

I’m going to be a hack and steal from others now. Other people have been doing the whole: Ask me a question thing as well as the Name something and I’ll take a picture thing.

I think I’ll do that too.

Ask away. No photos of my butt though. It’s gross. And I still owe a photo of “Ass some sugar”. We’ll have to get to that.

Shit, I don’t even have a story to tell. Maybe if I think real hard…

Thinking

Thinking

Shit, I have nothing. This job has done a number on my brain. I think it’s now gone down a notch fro Tapioca Pudding and is headed towards Jell-O.

Would it be wrong of me to do some sort of gross bodily fluid-type thing on someone’s desk here? The guy’s a fat slob germaphobe after all. It could kill him. It would be very funny. This guy is constantly rubbing himself with bleach and the office stinks when he does it. His arms are red and raw all the time from the bleach. What I want to do is blow my nose on his keyboard or something. I’m not going to shit on his chair or anything, but something’s got to be done. If I have to smell bleach or listen to him worry about being attacked my bacteria I may cry.

Jesus, I have nothing to do. Does anyone have a research project for me? Any travel plans you need made? I’m good with cruises, airfare and rental homes. I specialize in Florida and the Caribbean. Come on, challenge me. Give me a budget and a destination and I’ll see what I can do.

This only took 13 minutes to write? Ugh…I need a better job.

A thousand steps to nowhere…that is all I see

OK…I didn’t think I was going to have anything today, but the day just keeps filling up with things worth commenting on.

As usual, the list comes first, the un-funny comments follow
Birthday gift
Airbus
Coffee flavors
WMP Shuffling
Rosie O’Donnell movie
Travel to India
Ordering lunch
Things at work

Birthday Gift: We decided what to get Shmuppie. Thanks for all the suggestions. Andypoo suggested a tattoo and WarCry suggested a light saber. Thanks. That was helpful. No, really, it was. We’ve decided on this:

It looks like hella fun. I don’t know where we’ll store all the extra kids though. That could make things messy. The friggin thing has a total of 32 feet of tunnels and stuff and shit. We think Shmuppie will like it. Plus, Amazon had it on sale for only $100. Pissah! If the yard ever dries out, she can play outside in it.

Back to the light saber idea. I’d like one. I’m not exactly sure why though. I just think it would be cool. Imagine the uses around the house. Need to open a beer? Light saber. Trim the hedges? Light saber. Wound needs cauterizing? Light saber. I’d also like The Force. I’ll add that I’d be instantly seduced by the Dark Side. I’m a weak minded fool. I’d use it to lift things around the house, get the remote, pleasure myself…you get the idea. Not what Yoda has in mind for proper Force use.

Which reminds me: I’m hopeful about Revenge of the Sith. I think Lucas knows he can’t fuck this one up. I’m a big Star Wars geekazoid. I over-anticipated Phantom Menace and was seriously let down. Clones was better, but not good. This one had better be good. I peeked at some of the script and, assuming it’s right, the movie ends exactly as you’d think it would, with a little twisteroo thrown in for fun.

Airbus: The thing’s too big. I have no problem with a mega airplane. I have problems with loading and unloading it. It takes a half hour to load a 727. How long is that mess going to take? People lose their fucking minds at the airport as it is. We don’t need up to 800 lunatics all in one place at once. Imagine if Southwest had those things. Now that would be funny as hell. I like traveling, it’s just the whole traveling thing that bothers me. I’ve seen people do some very strange things in airports and on airplanes. We don’t need to put that many people all in one place.

Coffee Flavors: I mentioned that we have a new fancypants coffee machine. The flavors available are as listed:
Jet Fuel
Rocket Fuel
Piss
Kerosene
Awful
Toxic Waste
and…my favorite (this one is real) Torrefaction. Anyone else just get an image of Joe Torre, Don Zimmer, and Mel Stotlemeyer? I know I did. I don’t want that flavor of coffee.

WMP Shuffling: I have a bunch of songs here at work. It’s about 8 hours worth I think. I pop them all on in the morning and tell Windows Media Player to shuffle them. Why is it that I hear the same 10 songs over and over again? This is pissing me off. A little help here?

Rosie O’Donnell Movie: Saw an ad last night for some Hallmark made for TV piece of shit in which Rosie plays a retard. It’s called something like “Riding the bus with my sister”. Some other broad is in it. Do I need to make the joke? I will anyway:
Shouldn’t it be called: “Riding the short bus with my sister”

Thanks, I’ll be here all week. Try the veal.

Travel to India: We love, heart and <3 The Amazing Race. It kicks ass. The fact that Rob and Ambuh are on it this season makes it even gooder. However, I don't know if I could be on it. There's not enough money on all of Earth to get me to India. Name a country...any country. I'd rather go there than India. I can't imagine how bad it smells. We used to have a pack of Indians (with a dot, not a feather) living in the apartment under us. We'd have to open the door, hold our breath, and bolt up the stairs every time we came home because it stunk so badly. Now multiply that by a billion. No thanks. Not for me at all.

Ordering lunch: Word of advice: If you’re fat, please do not start ordering lunch at 8:54AM and then, at 9:00AM, start talking about the diet you need to start. You’re fat because you eat all day, not because you’re not on a diet. You’re fat because you eat crappy food and are lazy. It’s not anyone else’s fault but your own. Please never make me have to listen to you say how it sucks to be fat while you’re eating candy at 9:05AM. Please. Stop. Now.

Things at Work
“An M3 is something that tracks metrics that are wrapped around the processes” (Pronounced pros-uh-seees) Ah…another astounding example of someone saying words that sound like they make sense but actually say nothing at all.

“Speak to it” “Speak to the process” How does one speak to a process? Do you have to be careful, lest you hurt its feelings? Can you yell at it? Should you?

CC yourself on email: Hello, assface, if you look in your Sent Mail folder, you’ll see a neat little copy of the message RIGHT THERE! Jesus Christ, email is a mess. People should all be trained how to use it and their computers. There’s lot of people who have no clue. I’ve always ended up becoming my company/department’s unofficial IT guy. I once had a boss who swore he needed a new motherboard. His computer wouldn’t stat up and, naturally, it was the motherboard. I looked at it, knelt down, plugged the computer in, and left.

Voicemail messages: I understand that some people update their message everyday. But, do you need to do it while driving in a rain storm so it sounds like:
“MMFFMMFFGFGFWednesdayMMMFMMMFMFFofficeMMFMFMFMFMFmeetings all day”

So, I’m on a conference call earlier. Someone wants me to print letters to go to people that list all their prescriptions received over a time period. It’s very straightforward. Send me the letter template and the data and I handle the rest. Or so I thought. As you could guess, privacy is very important when dealing with stuff like this. However, not everyone understands privacy.
“NoGoodDaddy, do you need names and addresses in the data file”
“Well, if you want it to mail, that might help” (That’s exactly what I said)
“Well, I don’t understand the mail process” You don’t? Have you ever sent anyone else mail? Did you address the envelope? Same thing here, Sweetie.

“NoGoodDaddy, we can’t put the member’s name on the back of the letter where the Rx list is. That’s a privacy issue.”
“OK…whatever you want works for me.” Now, let’s go over that first line. You’re sending ME a letter in which you’re listing prescriptions that I have received. You can’t put my name above the list because it’s a privacy issue? So, you’re worried that, in a letter addressed to ME, I may see a list of prescriptions that were sent to ME? Ok…

“I need the data formatted in a certain way”
“We can’t do that”
“Ok…send it the way you can and I can get it reformatted”
“You can’t reformat the data. That’s against Good Practices”
“But we have to reformat the data so it can be used. We’ve done it in the past”
“Can I send you a test file to re-format”
“Why? I just told you that we know how to do it and have done it before.”
“We want to save you extra work”
“By giving me a test file for something that we know how to do? Isn’t THAT extra work?”
“I guess”
“Look, the only this is going to get done is by me doing extra work. You can’t provide what we need. I have to fix it. That’s extra work. Doing a test would be extra extra work.”
“I see”

See why I want a new job? Speaking of which, I did call the guy again yesterday and left a message. 2 problems: The company prides itself on NOT having voicemail. There’s ALWAYS someone there to answer the phone. That’s good…unless you want to leave a message for someone and don’t feel like leaving it with a secretary. You can only say so much and hope that it gets’ written down properly.

I’d like to say “This is NoGoodDaddy. I wanted to thank you again for taking time on Thursday to meet mew about the position. I am very interested in the position and hope to hear back from you soon so we can get started” or something of the sort. Instead I leave: “Can you tell him NoGoodDaddy called and I’m following up on Thursday’s interview?” See…big difference.

Plus, I don’t have the guy’s email address. That was my bad.

I need an answer on something here at work. I just called 8 people and none answered their phone. We can screen calls here and I know people do. Nobody wants to talk on the phone because there’s no proof. They know I know this and purposely don’t answer my calls. I love this place.

There’s a group of people here who don’t work. They walk around all day. From their desk to the closet. From the closet to the smoking pen. From the pen to the closet. From the closet to their desk. From their desk to the boss’ office where they all bitch about what they can’t do to help people. This goes on all day.
I need to take a picture of the smoking pen. Used to be, people would stand on our front steps/covered porch-thing and smoke. So, when you came to work, you had to walk through a haze of smoke. Then, they moved in 80 new people from a closed down office and realized that they had to move things around a little bit. They sent the smokers out to the side of the building. They’d stand therein the rain, snow, wind, freezing temperatures, etc and smoke. Then, someone complained that it wasn’t safe to have to walk that far. How’s that not safe? You walk all overt the place. How often do you have accidents while walking? About 2 weeks ago, they built the smoking pen. They brought in plastic barriers and made a little pen that’s about 8′x8′. The barriers are orange and yellow plastic. When I saw it, I figured they were building a barrier for the tanks that will inevitably be invading us soon. No, it’s the smoking pen. So these idiots stand there in the penalty box about 20 feet from the door and smoke their ciggys. Really folks, is it worth it?

Back from lunch…nothing on the cell phone. Anyone want to hire me?

If the phone doesn’t ring you’ll know that it’s me

JewelrySlut’s telling me not to worry and get upset.

I don’t think I’m listening all that well.

As I mentioned, I thought Thursday’s interview went well. I know their products. I know several of their customers and would be able to slide into the job pretty easily. I expressed interest in going back into the “real world” and out of a corporate job. I thought it went well.

The guy told me he’d make up his mind in 3 or 4 days. Well, today would be 5. Maybe he meant 3 or 4 work days, but he didn’t seem like the type to say something of the sort.

Maybe he plans to call me later on once he knows I’ll be in my car.

Maybe I’m still looking for a job.

I don’t like looking for a job. It feels like I’m always doing it. Taking this job at HealthcareRelatedCompany was a mistake. I knew so after 2 days and have been trying to free myself since. That’s 2 years. 2 years of Monster and Careerbuilder. I’ve interviewed for 3 positions within the company and was told that I “lacked content strategy”. I’ve interviewed at outside companies. For one, I think I had 3 interviews. I’m not having fun with this.

One could say I have a checkered job past. One could also say that Carrot Top is annoying as all hell. See, it’s not necessary.

Let’s call this part “Make fun of NoGoodDaddy’s job past”

Job 1: Worked in sales/customer service/whatever at a label-printing company my father and 2 partners owned. Jan 1997 – Nov 1998. When they sold out and left one of the partners in charge I fled.

Job 2: Worked in sales/customer service/whatever at a business forms and labels printing company. They grabbed me up the day after Job 1 was sold. Nov 1998 – Sep 1999. (Nice long tenure, eh?). I did well here and learned a LOT about the printing industry. But between the long commute (what I wouldn’t give for it now) and the micromicromanager from hell, things didn’t quite work out.

Job 3: Go back to company 1 after original partner is ousted. Let’s call this Colossal Bad Move #1. This was a mess. They hired me back to fix the place up and (little did I know) to prove that the equipment was profitable. I took this job to stick it to the old partner because I hated him and knew that it pissed him off to see me swoop in. Sep 1999 – April 2000. This ended badly when I went to…

Job #4: The competition. Let’s call this Colossal Bad Move #2. I took an outside sales job for all the wrong reasons. 1 was the money. 2 was the chance to stick it back to the old company. For even more fun, I was stationed in the offices of the 3rd partner from job 1. Previous company proceeded to sue me for all kinds of stuff like information theft, customer theft, idea theft, being a prick. This lovely experiment lasted from April 2000 – September 2000. In that time, I got 2 orders. I spent over $5000 on legal bills. I was on a variety of meds for depression/anti-anxiety/bad stomach. The summer of 2000 was absolute Hell for us. After the suit hit, they moved me out of the offices and I worked from home. That was not fun at all. It was hot and we had no A/C at the time. Everything sucked. To this day, I thank JewelrySlut for being a rock and being there for me every day. I spent months just sitting at home under “house arrest”. She’d come home, I’d cry, I’d go to bed early. Really good times.

Job #5: Went to go work for a printing middle-man. Of course, while interviewing I needed to explain that I’d need some time off right away to go sit in Federal Court and testify in the lawsuit. This company found it all amusing. They used Company #4, Company #1/3 and Company 1/3′s owners as vendors. I was here from Sept 2000 – May 2003. I liked this job. I all-but ran our office. I liked the reps I worked with and we had a lot of stupid fun. I mean, that job was what you got when you mixed immaturity and graphics software. We made lollipop wrappers that said “Suck it!” and mailed them to customers. We drank. We figured out, with graphics and charts, how fast and at what angle one would need to throw a foam rubber pig to have it fly the length of the office. Then, my boss told me that while I was doing a great job, they couldn’t pay me any more than they were. They also couldn’t move me into sales because then the front end would fall apart. Thanks.

Job 6: This one. I was sold a bill of goods. I was brought in to build up a printing operation and really sell it within the company. After 2 days I realized that my boss had no desire to do anything and that I was surrounded by a crushing bureaucracy hell-bent on saving its ass and not actually ever doing any work. I fought the good fight and kept my boss in the dark about what I did. Then, 8 weeks ago, he quit. 3 more bosses later, I’ve fully had it.

Know what I want? I want a job that I will like. I don’t think that’s too much to ask. I want a job where I can do a job and see results. I’d like to, on occasion, be rewarded for doing a good job. I don’t think I’m asking too much. In return, I’ll show up every day, often early. I’ll do my work, and do it well. I’ll take on extra tasks. I’ll fix the office’s PCs. I’ll do things and answer questions on all sorts of topics because I try to help whomever I can.

I’m not asking to ever be rich. To be honest, I’m not interested in putting in the hours. I know that it takes a dedication that I do not have to really succeed and make a lot of money. I want to do my job well and be home in time to eat dinner with my wife and daughter. My father was away for most of my childhood; either traveling or working insane hours. What did he get? Booted from a high-paying job just shy of his 39th birthday. He’s done well since, but he’s also realized that his kids missed having him around and that no amount of work or money seemed to be enough to buy happiness. I don’t want that. SecretAgentBrother is a money-making superman. Of course, he’s also 26 and divorced. The money’s doing him well too.

I just want a good job and to not hate it. I know it’s work. It’s not called “Let’s go out and play”. I’m not looking for friends. I’m looking for a paycheck that can help provide for my family. I want some vacation time. I want to go to St John every 2 years.

I’m not asking for much.

Maybe I’ll get that call later on or tomorrow.

Maybe it “wasn’t meant to be” and we should be re-listing the house when the contract is up in 2 weeks. I have no clue.

Ok…let’s see if I can write something funny here.

(Makes “taking a really big dump face”)

mmmmmmmmmmm

mmmmmm

Sorry…nothing coming to me at the moment

I think I’m going to try to write something fictional. Part of my reason for doing this diary thing is to use my brain a little bit. I never took any courses in school that required any real writing skills. (Being a physiology major made that easy to do) However, I think I can write a little bit. Don’t get your hopes up. Though. I don’t expect anything good.

But, I read somewhere “Write about what you know”, so expect….maybe…to see some ramblings about the tropics.

And lastly…

Here’s a cute pic of Shmuppie from my date with Pimp .

About 2 minutes later, Lil’Pimp tried to deflower her.

Ah…good times.