Went back to the Y today. Paying $20 for each PT session is getting old, so I told them I’d work myself out for the rest of this week. The PT is definitely useful. I’m walking almost normally and have just about full range of motion back. But, I can ride a stationary bike and lift weights at the Y and not have to pay $20.
So, I’m back…and in pain. I don’t know if it’s more of an “I just worked out and things are sore” or “Oh shit…this is bad”. I think it’s the former. The inside of the knee (where all the stretched out shit lives) feels OK. It’s the bone bruise that hurts like hell. It’s really sore right now and I’m not happy.
I had never been to the Y’s workout room before. I’d forgotten how much fun a gym setting is for people watching. In the pool, there’s really no chance to preen or accessorize. You get in, you swim, and you leave. Sure, people have designer fins and shit, but there isn’t much opportunity to flex and act like an ass. You kinds drown if you do that. In the gym…Whole nother story.
I find myself a bike and hop on and start peddling. I’m taking it easy; mostly trying to make sure I get the knee as close to straight as possible on the down-push. I did 15 minutes on an average setting. There’s no sense in doing too much. I’m not training for the Tour De France, just trying to walk again. I’m also wearing an old pair of shorts and a t-shirt. And, of course, a hat is on my head.
It’s very easy to tell who the people are who are there to exercise and those who are there to be seen exercising. If you accessorize when exercising, you’re not exercising. When your clothes are made to look ratty, you’re not exercising. When you’re peddling away at like Level 1 and are drinking water, wiping sweat, listening to music all while telling us how much you feel the burn, you’re not exercising.
It’s also fun to observe people while they do work on weight machines. They should just make that into a reality show. It’s the height of comedy. I like this guy:
Wearing tight red shorts
Wearing the dreaded tank top
Is still upset that Brenda dumped him in Junior High
Has backne (Not mine…I stole it from Bill Simmons)
He’s strutting around from machine to machine, throwing weights on seemingly at random and doing all he can to rupture his biceps tendons or a disk in his back.
All the while, he’s looking at himself in the mirror and you can hear the voice in his head…”That’s right. All the ladies love The Matt (that’s his name). That bitch Brenda left me for Scott Harrelson. I’ll show her. Yea…The Matt is The Man. Look at me. I am awesome. I am so ripped. Tonight I’m going to masturbate to the special Gold Edition Midget Porn. That’s right, The Matt. You are awesome”
One guy strutted to the lat pull-down machine (You sit and a bar is above your head. You pull it down, against resistance, and work your lats and shoulders). He throws on an absurd amount of weight. He sits, reaches up and pulls….He comes out of the seat and hits the thigh bar. He hangs there, bouncing, until he gets the weight down. Rinse…repeat 10 more times. Highest of comedy.
I finish biking and need to find some weights. I need to do leg extensions and leg presses. I find an extension machine and start…with 12.5 lbs. That’s right. Who’s a stud? I am. 12.5 lbs. I am so ripped. I’m doing these 1-legged and am near tears from both the effort and the pain. All I n the name of progress I guess. I did leg presses and blasted up like 40 lbs. I am so huge.
Then I went home. And now my leg hurts like hell.
And, as I think of it, that was a very pointless entry. I hope the whole The Matt thing was amusing because the rest of this has been pure horseshit.
Fucking writer’s block.