Don’t really feel like company it’s just him and his fridge

I got this idea from Smed, so it’s blatant theft.

What’s in my fridge?

In the door:
Left Side


Butter dish. Probably has about half a stick of butter in it. It may or may not have gone rancid

2nd shelf:

Bottle of lime juice – use for rum and Player to be named later drinks

Spicy brown mustard – always good to have around

Zatarain’s Remoulade – I forgot we had this. I’ll need to break it out again soon

Blue cheese dressing – Why do we have this?

Cocktail sauce – this may be leftover from Thanksgiving

Olives – For martinis

Parmasan Cheese

Walkerswood Jerk Sauce – This is HOT stuff. It’s very good, but very hot. Use sparingly

Jimmy Buffett Gumbo Hot Sauce – I opened this Sunday and am not sure about it. It’s first ingredient is carrots. Any hot sauce not listing Scotch Bonnet peppers as it’s #1 ingredient is for wimps. But, we needed another bottle open.

Wishbone Vinagrette – I think we like Wishbone dressing the best. Maybe we don’t

3rd shelf

Pepto Bismol – Generic brand though.

HP Sauce – For those of you from across the pond, you may be surprised to see this in NC

Chipotle mustard – I bought this recently for coleslaw and now it makes lovely sammiches

Aoli sauce – Good on anything

Soy sauce – May be old

Lemon juice – I don’t know what I use lemon juice for

Kraft Italian dressing – We may like Kraft more than Wishbone now that I think of it

Ranch dressing – Used to make wrap sandwiches. You need it to cut the gobs of hot sauce we use

Matouk’s Calypso hot sauce – Not as good as the Salsa Caliente, but good any way. We found this stuff in Raleigh, but have only seen the good stuff at St John Spice

Right Side:


1/3 full jar of capers. Capers are good on everything. Especially Fish

Tub of “I Can’t Believe it’s Not Butter”

Tub of cream cheese


½ gallon of 2% milk

½ gallon of OJ


Shmuppie’s water bottle – the kid doesn’t drink enough so we keep a bottle filled for her at all times in the hopes she’ll drink


Grape Jelly – Smucker’s

Peanut butter – Jif

Horseradish sauce

Mayo – Hellman’s

Ketchup – Heinz

Syrup – Aunt Jemimah

Main part:


Baking soda – Keep the fridge smelling nice

Cranberry salsa – from the Farmer’s market…yummy

Bowl of grapes – I’ll finish them tonight and get sick from eating too many

Bowl of Jell-o – I’ll eat it all at once and get sick

Bowl of leftover Mac’n cheese

2 bottles of water – for anyone who comes over and doesn’t want to drink from a recycled bottle

Tub of hummus – Red pepper flavor. The kid loves this stuff

Tub of garlic bread spread – Just garlic butter. Makes it easy to make decent garlic bread

Jar of minced garlic – I shouldn’t use this stuff, but sometimes I’m too lazy to mince fresh stuff

Bowl of leftover Lo Mein


Bowl of grape tomatoes – Again, the kid loves these and eats them by the fistfull

Baggie with a half-eaten apple – Hmmm…I wonder who did this?

Baggie with a half-eaten pear – See above

Baggie with cut up green pepper slices

Bowl containing some leftover butternut squash

Package of burrito-size wraps

Bowl of tomato salad

4 yogurts


Cold cut drawer:

Package of ham

Package of turkey

Hot dogs

Package of Pepperjack cheese

Package of Meunster cheese

Package of queso fresco (does not melt very well)

Bag of shredded cheese

Package of salami

Large bottom section:

Loaf of wheat bread

Bowl containing leftover chili (mmmm)

Bottle of white grape juice

Bottle of Dinosaur BBQ sauce

Bottle of Spiedie sauce – From Wegman’s. this is a sauce they use in Western New York to put on stuff.

Bottle of margarita mix – unopened and bought last May

Pitcher of iced tea – Because the little spout thing leaked all over the fridge yesterday

Bottle of grape PowerAde – bought when Shmuppie had the runs we tried to get her to drink it. It tasked like purple

1.5L bottle of Gionelli Pinot Grigio (almost empty. JewelrySlut will be twitchy tonight)

Bottle of cranberry juice – to be mixed with vodka

20 oz bottle of Diet Coke – for my mother

Crisper Drawers:


Head of cauliflower – I need to make this tonight for me and the kid. JewelrySlut does not like Cauliflower

Bag of wee carrots

2 green peppers

Bag of roma tomatoes


Sack of grapes

Bag of Granny Smith Apples

Bag of pears

It’s only Tuesday, so the fridge is full-ish. Later in the week, we gaze into it and wonder where all the food went. I need to eat something. I’m hungry.

I’m not sure I like how this wordpres thing spaces my text. I’ll have to investigate that and see how I can tighten it up a bit.

Still no naming convention. Got ideas?

It’s quiet today. There’s snow in NJ, so it looks like a lot of HealthCareRelatedCompany has taken the day off or is working from home. In any event, it’s slow this morning.

Not a bad weekend. We got a lot done around here. On Saturday, my mother called because she wanted to come over, drop off some stuff and get the kid. We had a wooden shelving unit coming our way that we’d hoped to convert into a pantry of sorts. We also had 2 area rugs coming over. Having moved the pantry to the basement stairs landing, we went about rearranging the kitchen.

You see, when we moved in, I unpacked the kitchen. According to how she tells it, I yelled at JewelrySlut while she was apparently lollygagging around in the kitchen right after we moved in. I swept through the kitchen and unpacked everything. Very quickly. As a result, nothing was in a good place. Dinner dishes next to serving platters. Drinking glasses next to serving bowls. Basically, a mess. We took time on Saturday to move everything around and, as always, to throw away unneeded shit. We have a lot of that around the house.

As it turns out, the ‘rents kept Shmuppie for the night. So, we enjoyed a peaceful dinner. We never had to say the words “Stop Talking and eat” or “Drink your milk” once. It was nice. After dinner, we rented Little miss Sunshine. Damn, that was funny. The dance scene had me rolling on the floor. That’s how Shmuppie would dance were we ever to enter her in such an event.

They all came back on Sunday with another storage cabinet; this one for Shmuppie’s playroom. My father also brought our tax returns. We’re getting money back. That’s good. We’re almost getting back enough to put in air conditioning herein the basement. I requested that we earmark any refunds to go towards the “NoGoodDaddy doesn’t need to sweat while he works” fund. It has been duly marked. If anyone else wants to contribute to the fund, please let me know. I’ll provide an address to send money to.

I also helped a new neighbor move in on Sunday…in the pouring rain. That was fun. He bought the unit where the crazies lived. Oh yea, they’re all crazies. Remember the crazies who had the wedding at the pool clubhouse and then systematically demolished their house? I do. He bought their place, stripped it to the studs and totally renovated the place. We all think he’s crazy. He put 70% of the purchase price of the house back into it. He’ll never get the money back on resale. I hope he plans to live here for a while. But, he seems cool enough and is unlikely to start having gunfights in the parking lot. Plus, it’s always to get on the good side of the neighbors…me being Presidential and such.

I spent the rest of Sunday locked in battle on EBay. The crappy used MP3 player I bought in the fall for $65 turned out to be jus that. On Friday, while I was at the gym, it went crazy on me and started playing all my songs super fast-like. Not a good feature. I reset the thing, reformatted it, downloaded new firmware…nadda. The fucking fucker’s fucked. So, finally, last night after dinner, I finally got a new MP3 player. I don’t think I overpaid for it, but I spent more than I wanted to. But, I’m in NJ next week and really wanted to have my new one in my hands in time to take it with me. So, I now have a new-ish one being shipped to me. Good times.

Ooh…an email on the work computer. Maybe I have something to do now. In all likelihood it’s a Google news alert. I get a lot of those.

Nope…just an email from Baldus NonErectus (God do I wish my archives were up and running (not a slight against YOU at all) so I could link to that post).

What a fun day. Too much excitement for me.

I still don’t know how to name these. Maybe I’ll do Buffett songs again. I’m not sure.

And so it begins.

I’m sitting here in the office at 8:30. I’d just gotten downstairs because I like to come to work late on Friday mornings.

The home line rings…it’s my father’s cell number. Before I even answer, I pop open a new tab in Firefox and start entering the Continental site’s address. I assume his flight home is cancelled and he needs help re-booking.


“Can you or JewelrySlut do me a favor?”


“Your mother’s locked herself out of the house. She had her New Jersey keys with her and obviously they’re not doing her a lot of good. She’s in a neighbor’s house right now.”

“OK…One of us will go”

I told JewelrySlut and she went up to unlock the house. Good thing we still have keys. She also took the NJ keys off the ring and threw them away.

As I said, this may be the first time we have to let her in her house, but it most certainly is not the last.

Good times.

Yesterday was a fun day. JewelrySlut and Shmuppie were up at the estate and apparently, Shmuppie was not behaving at all. It got so bad that my mother, the usual instigator of her bad behavior, had to start yelling.

When the ladies got home, it didn’t get any better.

JewelrySlut and I were talking, so Shmuppie decided to knock a mountain of books and toys off of her little table. Having gotten our attention, she got to stand in the corner. When she emerged, she announced that she couldn’t find the little water pen that she used to “paint” in her Dora book. JewelrySlut offered to help her find it. They started looking and JewelrySlut suggested that she clean up some of the clutter over by the table.

Shmuppie announced “That noise hurts my ears”

Now, she likes to say that any noise hurts her ears. This, of course, comes from the child who yells all the time.

JewelrySlut asked what noise in particular was hurting her ears

“Your voice”

At this moment, JewelrySlut was flabbergasted. I whacked the kid upside the head and sent her back to the corner.

Leaving the corner, I instructed her to go apologize.

JewelrySlut told Shmuppie that she could not talk like that to anyone, especially Mommy and Daddy, and that she’d better straighten up or else we were all in for a long nigh.

Shmuppie, completely ignoring her, asked for a lollipop or something.

I pulled Shmuppie over to me and got in her face asking her to repeat what Mommy had said.

“I don’t know”

“Did you even listen to anything she said”?”

“I don’t know. Can you read me a story?”

“Did you even listen to what I said?”


Whack! This time she was sent to her room to go sit in the dark.

This pattern continued for most of the evening.

Good to see that we’re cycling towards bad behavior again. I think I need to book some flights.

There’s more to talk about, but not right now.

Enjoy the new digs.


PS: Smed says I need one of those NotifyList things. Do I? I still should show a new entry over at D-Land that will redirect you here. I an do it if all 2 of you see the need or the desire to know EXACTLY when I post.

I haven’t decided how to name these posts

I’m getting settled in. Boxes are getting unpacked, furniture moved. It’s a process. As soon as Pete gave me some pointers (like how to suppress my gag reflex) it became a lot easier and less intimidating. I mean, you can’t take it all on at once. Bit by bit gets the job done I always say.

I don’t know if I like this little box I’m supposed to type the entry into. I guess I’m used to fending for myself all this time that having life easy is becoming hard. Hard. HA!

That’s really all I have for now. I have some track lighting to install.