Who wants to hear JewelrySlut cry? You do? That’s not nice.
I think I need a new bag. Before last fall, I used to travel with a huge-ass laptop bag. It’s a shoulder bag and has a million compartments. It fits all my crap, but it’s waaaay too heavy. By the end of a week, I’d be in serious pain, my shoulders would be sore and my back would be worse off. It was just not good. So, in September, I got my new Dell from RedCompany and it came with a smaller bag. It only holds the computer, the cables and crap and a file or 2. It’s not too heavy, but not big enough for a week. To get more space, I started carrying my backpack too.
I never carry-on my luggage any more. My new suitcase is too big. I knew it was too big when I bought it, but its size and awesome 4-wheel steering makes it indispensable. So, the 2-bag situation is OK with me. But, sometimes, I’d rather just have one bag. It’s going to have to be a backpack.
This is where JewelrySlut cries.
I may have mentioned this before, but it took me damn near 5 years to buy my current bag. The search for my new backpack drove JewelrySlut to tears and heightened levels of anxiety. The bag needed to be just right…and it is. I have a LL Bean backpack that I found for like $40 at an outlet store. It has a top flap opening (something it HAD to have because I did not want side zipper access) 2 nice side pockets (large enough to hold a little water bottle or a 20 oz soda) and a roomy front pouch. It’s got good padding and lumbar support. I love my bag. It’s got all kinds of sand buried in it from our adventures. In fact, ChurchBomber calls it “the St John bag” because I never leave the house without it when we’re down there.
So, about 2 weeks ago, I announced to her that I needed a new bag. She just put her head in her hands. For fun, I should start chronicling my search. It could go on for roughly ever.
Does anyone have a lead on a good backpack that will hold the following?
A laptop and all the associated cables, wires and power thingies
Let’s say: about 4″ of paperwork
2 books (one hardback, one soft cover)
Keys, pens, pills (I travel with a small pharmacy), sticky notes, EZ Pass, Tide Bleach Pen, change, business cards, napkins, highlighter, lucky penny, drink umbrella, deck of cards etc. (Hey…if I don’t carry it with me, I don’t have it with me. I am a mobile man)
I’d prefer a flap opening and that it not look gay. And, I firmly believe that you can be an adult professional-type and carry a backpack. When Josh pulled it off as Campaign Director for Matt Santos, I was sold.
JewelrySlut just told me some super awesome news!
After admitting to being an idiot because she left Shmuppie’s backpack (a theme today) at home, she told me about her morning at school. But, before we go further, a note on Shmuppie:
This morning, like all mornings, she was a pain in the ass. Breakfast consisted of one pancake and about 3oz of juice. It took an hour to eat and drink that feast. So, because they were running late, not only did Frip and the cats not get fed, but the bag got left at home. The kid’s a menace.
Also on the kid: yesterday was her 5-year checkup at the doctor. Having missed years 1, 3 and 4, I decided to go. It went well. We were asked, for her eye test, if she’d do better identifying shapes or letters. We chose letters. They stood her at the right distance and had her read off the chart. Then, I’m assuming to test color blindness, the nurse pointed to a green bar and told her to name the color. “Verde”. The nurse was confused. So, not only are our eyes fine, but we’re apparently also a showoff. Because why answer in your native tongue, when you can answer in Spanish. Where’d she ever get a smart alecky streak like that?
So, back to JewelrySlut and her news. She told me that at school, one of the other mommies approached her. Now, this mommy hangs out with the other cool mommies. JewelrySlut is not one of the cool mommies. Not at all. So, when she was approached by M’s cool mommy, she was nervous. It seems that a few of the cool mommies are throwing themselves a little party tomorrow in anticipation of the end of the school year. JewelrySlut and Shmuppie were invited. The party seems to be invitation only. It seems my little wifey is now in the Pretty Lady Club. I’m so proud of her. From what I can gather, to be in the PLC, you need to show up for school functions in short running shorts and a sports bra. This look says “I’m dedicated to having a fabulous body, but my kid is important too.” JewelrySlut is upstairs right now cutting the legs off of all her shorts. She sooo wants to be in the PLC.
CrazyAnne just came by. She told me last week about a dead tree on the property. I told her to call Carol (property manager) about it. This past weekend, she told me again about the tree.
“Did you call Carol like I told you to 4 days ago?”
“You meant that?”
“Since when have I ever told someone to call Carol about something out of my control and I didn’t mean it?”
She came over just now to show me the tree. It seems she called Carol but I needed to see it with my own eyes. Oooohhh…a dead tree. That’s great. She also told me that she as making trouble with some black folk in the court. She’s trying to get a black guy to NOT buy a unit in the court. Because, as we all know, black people are criminals. Right? Anyone?
My next project here is to boost up the lighting in the courts. Each court has just 3 old-ass street lights. As a result, it gets a little dark. And since he neighborhood African-American criminals blend in real nice-like when it’s dark, we decided to try to do something about it. We’re trying to upgrade all the light poles to look a little less ghetto. Without adding a lot of cost, that will make them look nicer and add light. But, that’s not enough. So, my idea was to get all the owners of end units to agree to help out the community. I want to mount poison detector spot lights (like patio lights) on the sides of the houses. When a darkie walks by, he’ll be lit up like Christmas. This ought to be a good fight.
And, lastly, to address some comments from the illustrious Mr. BoogerFace:
Why do we live here?
Admittedly, it was our Raleigh starter house. Remember, when we moved, I had no idea if I’d have a job for any longer than 8 weeks. We needed to get a place and not have to worry about any bank-related hassles. Oh yea…and…we own it for cash.
The HOA savings account:
Yes, it’s got too much money in it. When I took over, I saw it and asked what it was, why it was there and what it was earmarked for. When I got bad answers to all of the questions, I announced that it was to become the general repairs fund. For years, the other boards seemed to have been in a contest to build the account up. As a result, they did no maintenance around here. I’m trying to see how much we really need per unit to make” emergency repairs” and use the rest to fix shit. But, as I told the group last week, even if we pull out $20K from it, we still need $150K to paint all 3 courts. $20K means nothing on that scale, especially when we need to fix and upgrade the exterior lighting.
So, that’s why we have a large-ish savings account…for now.