I can’t even begin to explain this past week. I may just focus on today. As Moose A Moose would say, today is Thursday.
I had to meet someone in the lobby at 7:45. Earlier in the week, I had thoroughly annoyed enough people at RedCompany that the cavalry was coming to my rescue. The multi-million dollar project I’ve been working on by my lonesome for the past 2 months? Well, it finally got noticed. People got pissed. Not at me, mind you. I just kept standing at the bottom of the abyss, screaming for help. Help arrived the other day. This week, I either made my name at RedCompany or started getting fired. Either works.
7:45AM: Lobby to meet KF. I knew her form PA so it was good to see her. Off we go to HealthCareRelatedCompany. We arrived and I took her to the front door to sign in. Now, recently, HealthCareRelatedCompany decided that we evil bastards from RedCompany were no longer safe to let loose in the building. SO, they passed a law; no one from RedCompany can escort another person, no matter who they are, around the building. So, we get to the desk and I sign KF in.
Me: So…I’m not on the list
Security: You can’t escort her. (KF’s eyes bug out of her head)
Me: OK…none of the approved escorts are here. Call Mel. (The VP at HealthCareRelatedCompany in charge of us hellions)…no answer. Call Jane (his Admin)…no answer.
Security: You need an escort
Me: Try Rich…nothing. Try Al…nothing.
I’m real close to having this SOB page the CEO of HealthCareRelatedCompany. Let’s get his $20million a year ass down there to walk me to the office.
Finally, the head receptionist saw me and recognized me and walked us all of 50 feet to our offices. We call this setting the tone for the day.
We got coffee (me sneaking KF to the food room all the while) and called some Canadian dude who couldn’t make it here last night because Mother Nature is a fickle bitch. We started talking about whatever the hell we were supposed to be doing when VPBrian walked in. He wanted to talk to us all about the latest Master Plan.
Having thoroughly talked, we had to go to our meeting with HealthCareRelatedCompany about this project. The main lady from HealthCareRelatedCompany was on the phone and 2 underlings were in the room. The meeting went well. If we don’t win this business, some people are going to be very pissed at a lot of people (not me though…I asked for the help and got NOTHING). It’s some serious business and will make me inst a rising star. I really want this to break our way.
11:00: We wrap up and KF’s cell rings. I had planned on working with her all day. Her mother was in the hospital. She had to bug out to go back to PA to see what was happening. So, I was left, with my dick in my hand, still in NJ. On Wednesday, I had moved my flight until Friday. (Side note, my original flight was cancelled. The weather at the airport is about to enter the story).
So, I spend the next few hours with my hair on fire. HowardTheJew (NEW NAME!!!) is thoroughly amused by this. Nobody enjoys my suffering like he does.
1:40PM: I get this email from my father:
SecretAgentBrother and Fiance are on plane to Atlanta. We are sitting at gate in RDU. Right now our flight is delayed to 2:20 p.m. but subject to further ground control delays. If we do not make the connection Delta shows nothing available to Europe before Monday. However, we guess the options, if any, would be better from JFK. IF our flight is cancelled here, Dopey will come and retrieve us and we will figure options. If we go late to JFK and miss the connection we will crash with Friend 1 or Friend 2 and take things from there.
Mom and Dad are trying to get to Italy for TheItalian’s wedding. Brother and Fiancâ€š (Yes…they’re engaged…more to come) tried to go last night, but could not. I call my father. They’re stuck indeed and their original flight just isn’t happening.
While we’re on the phone, I’m getting his Delta number so I can try to book a new flight. I log in as him and he’s been re-booked (from my Cleveland adventure, we know how that goes). They’re booked from RDU – JFK – London – Pisa, Italy. That’s it. They can’t get to their destination of Rome. I tell him. He shits. The Delta lady comes on the overhead, announces that everyone is fucked and makes a point to tell people NOT to yell at her; it ain’t her fault.
I find a flight for Friday on Continental and hang up to try to get them booked on it. Meanwhile, chaos is erupting around me at work. Obviously, the fact that I’m talking into my headset is not at all an indicator that I might be ON THE PHONE!
I get through and learn that I can’t swap them to Continental. OK…back to Dad. He’s learned that they may be able to get from RDU – JFK – London (Gatwick) – a bus – 8-hour layover – London (Heathrow) – Rome.
We part and he goes to board the RDU – JFK flight.
StupidIndian (NEW NAME for a woman in the office who pisses me off to no end) is babbling at me about money saved. Bottom line is that I don’t have the annual quantities on the job. I need them to give her a total $ spent number. I ask her to pull the invoices (she has them). We get them, and little do I realize, and notice that they don’t have quantities. I ask Aubrey (Might as well use his name now as you’ll see) to get the pre-bills so I can get the quantities. He flips out at StupidIndian. They start yelling.
Now, the 2 of them yelling is common occurrence. I hear about it all the time. So, I decided to do something about it. They work for LittleIndian (Yes, I’m a racist pig), a guy from Rochester. He’s a little younger than I am and we get along well. We both kinda “get it” at the office and hang out at the hotel with ImNotMolly all the time.
I send this email:
Subject: The Battling BA’s
It’s got to stop. I’m never here and they’re driving me insane. I can’t imagine what the room has to deal with all the time.
5 minutes pass, and I’m still trying to get my parents a flight when I hear Aubrey start in again. Seems, the LittleIndian has called him to say that someone in the office said he was fighting again. Since only HowardTheJew and I were in the office at the time…it was clear who did it. I had to get up and pee.
I called JK (Another name) who was off-site today to let her know I planned to kill the LittleIndian. I felt he deserved it. She agreed. That’s why I love JK.
So, having peed, LittleIndian called my cell; mostly because I sent him an email right before I left saying “YOU ARE NOT HELPING!”
He told he’d sent Aubrey home for the day. I told him I though he was an asshole for ratting one of us out and basically killing any chance at office harmony. LittleIndian and I went at it for a while. Seeing that he’s a stubborn SOB, he didn’t agree with me. As we know, I am always right.
4:30 PM: Still annoyed, I went back to the office for another series of calls.
5:00 PM: Yet another call. This one had some upper level people on it. One joined, saying, “Oh…NoGoodDaddy is here. You’re having quite a week, aren’t you?” Word of my deeds had spread. This call was about why the people at HealthCareRelatedCompany are douches. They are. I plan to get one fired.
5:30: LittleIndian calls me; Aubrey’s gone. He’s been fired. Need I point out that he’s black?
Recap: I got a family of “them people” evicted and now got one fired.
6:00: My father calls and wants to know if I can get them on an Alitalia flight out of JFK because they may not make it on time. Back to Delta I go…Nancy and I speak for a while and we decide that, while I could send them here: JFK – Cab – LaGuardia – Boston – Paris – Rome, I’d let fate take over and let them make it on their own. Nancy’s bosses are getting an email from me. She’s da bomb.
6:15: my cell rings from a number I don’t know. Then, my office line rings. I’m on with Delta still, so I ignore them both. I get off the phone, and call the number.
Me: Hi, this is NoGoodDaddy; I’m returning your call.
Aubrey: NoGoodDaddy, it’s Aubrey
Aubrey: LittleIndian said someone called him to say I was fighting…(then he ranted)
Me: Yea…it was me. I didn’t expect the final result, but I did it
He and I have been pals and I don’t think he expected it to come from me.
We talked for a while, and I explained that he was too abrasive, too big of a personality, and that LittleIndian thinks too much of himself.
Not a call I needed.
6:45: I leave work…it’s raining. I get to the store to buy dinner and it’s my manager. He’s in Pittsburgh. Why? Because his flight from Milwaukee to EWR ran out of fuel flying in circles over PA. HA!
All the while, I have the girls on the phone.
(Did I mention that Shmuppie nearly got expelled from camp this week? Oh yea…Tuesday, she bit a kid, and on Wednesday, she was randomly licking people. She seems to have developed an oral fixation (something I wished JewelrySlut had. (You know…more time with my cock in her mouth and stuff)). So, I’m laying down the law from NJ).
7:30 PM: I arrive at the hotel. Dave gets one look at me and asks what’s wrong. ImNotMolly, ever son lovingly, asks what the hell is wrong. I guess I look like shit.
Riiing…cell again. It’s my father. They’ve landed at JFK. How’s the next flight look. ImNotMolly looks it up…it’s going to be tight. I wish him well.
8:00: Riiiing: It’s him. They’re on the plane and he’s out of breath
9:00: Riiing…they’re on the plane…sitting. Apparently, they just parked the plane and opened the doors. They walked 1/2 a mile to the airport and then had to cross 2 terminals and a million gates…to be the last 2 people on the plane. They’re still sitting.
I just spoke to JewelrySlut who is sick and ready for bed. So am I.