I’ve been really lazy lately.
Or, just busy with work. I’ve been on the phone too much. One day last week, my cordless actually lost its charge. That’s how long I had been on the phone. That’s not good.
I’m home for a 3 week stretch here so things are almost normal here at Casa NoGood. By Sunday the 12th, though, JewelrySlut will be ready to bid me adieu and send me packing. I can’t blame her. I’m an ass.
Life here in the kingdom is fun though. Let me recap:
Remember the people I got evicted? Well, the Sherriff’s department finally came to padlock the house because they had refused to leave. Well, that didn’t stop them. They broke into the house and are hanging out. Guess what the neighbors did? If you guessed “Called the police”, you were WRONG. They called CrazyAnne. She told me. I told her that I couldn’t care less.
I love these people.
Then, remember our botched attempt to set up a Community Watch program? I refused to be involved because I had enough else to do. Well, it seems that the block captain for the 2nd court is currently in jail. Good times! Last Wednesday, BigKelly called me to announce the padlocking of 1778. She had been trying to get in touch with Jeff, the block captain, but it didn’t seem that anyone was home.
So, Friday evening, CrazyAnne came over to dish. She was over to tell me that Jeff was in jail, apparently for drugs. Of course, Shmuppie was in the room so CrazyAnne insisted in speaking in some sort of Yokel Code. As it is, she is unable to complete a sentence without saying “Uh-duh-duh-duh” (her way of expressing something that she otherwise lacks the vocabulary to express), so the conversation was utterly un-followable.
It went like this “He was painting Brad’s house with another guy and uh-duh-duh, he was getting the other one back into drugs and uh-duh-duh-duh, he couldn’t make bail and was in jail uh-duh-duh-duh, so duh duh duh”
All the while, I was pouring my self an increasingly strong rum drink.
From what I could gather, Jeff (the new neighbor, block captain, and, according to his business card, “Brother in Christ Jesus”) was picked up for some sort of drug offense. He was in jail.
I giggled for about 57 reasons.
Saturday, we’re at the pool. CrazyAnne appears again. This time, she had been speaking to the Rev (also from the 2nd court…the owner of our recently-installed geyser) about what was going on with Jeff. It seems Jeff had a warrant out for his arrest from an overdue traffic violation from the other side of the state where he used to live. He was in jail because his wife could not make bail. The Rev gave the wife $125 for groceries but now wanted the Board to take action and start a fund for Jeff to get him out of jail. As I told CrazyAnne “I can’t get the bastards here to come pull weeds at the pool, I’m expected to get them to bail a stranger out of jail”.
Well, as far as I know at this point, Jeff is still my Brother in Christ Jesus. Only thing, he’s hanging with Jesus in jail.
When are we moving, you ask? We’re not sure, but sooner than later.
First things first though…
Last week, the board voted to have the buildings in my court repainted and to have our fences ripped down and rebuilt. Hello, $55,000 in repairs. Then, we’re kinda hoping I can extract a bonus from RedCompany this year. If I do, it goes to either paint the interior of the house or re-do the kitchen. Then, we’ll be ready to consider selling.
As I see it, I only want to live here another 2 years or so. What we wish we could do is lift the house out and move it elsewhere…like to a place where I don’t have to worry about lunatics calling me at all hours or having neighbors who claim that a $10/month dues increase will bankrupt them. These people make me crazy. But, we like the house.
It’s my birthday in 11 days. Ready?
Luckily for me, I’ll be in Bethesda, MD for the weekend at my brother’s wedding.
JewelrySlut and I can’t figure out what to get them. I mean, it’s marriage #5 if you count all their previous attempts. What do you get someone in such a situation? Money is no good, considering that they seem to have more than they know what to do with. I think I came up with something. I found an autographed DVD cover from the movie Overboard (starring Kurt Russell). I can also go to Chuck Norris’ website and get an autographed picture of him kicking ass. We may buy both, have them framed, and present that as a gift. I happen to think it’s cool.
Shit, I just got nothing.