Let’s discuss yesterday.
On Saturday, we moved all the plants into the greenhouse and JewelrySlut was happier than a clam. Not a mussel, mind you, a clam.
Tanya, as we know, is an ass.
Regarding my pissedoffness about not being able to find mussels: Jesus you’re a picky little bitch, aren’t you?”
This is like ordering a steak and being offered chicken instead. Same thing…in the sense that it’s not at all the same in any way.
I hate her. I hate Andria more though.
So, greenhouse is assembled and the plants are in it. My little temperature/humidity sensor was in place and I was tracking data like a madman. JewelrySlut pruned and weeded her plants and we danced in the living room (which no longer looked like the botanical gardens).
Then, the rains came.
Much Needed Rain, I’ll add.
Well, we woke up on Sunday and I quickly realized that I should have stayed in bed until 2009.
Shmuppie has been sleeping in the guest room for about a month now. She was supposed to have gotten a bed from my parents for Christmas. At this point, it’s looking more and more like an Epiphany gift. Bed hasn’t arrived yet. Anyway, on Saturday night, we went to drain her at about 11:00 as we always do when we realized that she’d managed to piss through her diaper (she tells me it’s a pull-up. I tell her that if you piss in it, it’s a diaper), her PJ’s, the sheets, the mattress pad and onto the mattress itself. HOORAY for no bladder control. So, we had to field strip the bed at 11:00 and line it with beach towels.
So, it’s Sunday and JewelrySlut comes downstairs and checks her plants. It’s pouring outside. She steps into the greenhouse and the carpet squishes.
JewelrySlut: Carpet’s wet
Now, it’s not like we just put carpet on the deck and walked away. We battened down the plastic skirt on the outside of the greenhouse and then made sure that the plastic flooring we put down overlapped the inner skirt of the greenhouse. The damn thing was watertight. Or so we thought. I started inspecting it and saw that in every place where there was a seam or fabric patch (to attach the poles), water was pouring in. I found the worst offenders and duct-taped them. Those leaks slowed, but the others only grew angrier.
The plants are back in the house.
Then, I was using JewelrySlut’s laptop to look up advice on how to deal with the greenhouse when Windows decided that it wanted her to compact her outlook messages. Like an ass, I decided to do it.
That was officially the end of my good day. OE went insane and blew up. Bu the time her computer restarted (after a blue screen of death flashed past), all her email was gone. I spent the better part of the next 6 hours trying to restore her email. The good thing is that I can find and have backed up all of her old messages. I just can’t get OE to recognize them. I’ve tried everything. I pointed OE at a new folder to find the messages, I tried to import messages, I tried to uninstall and reinstall OE, I downloaded, I swore, I screamed.
Nothing. I’m running out of ideas, but have a few things left to try. I think I’m going to take her messages and put them on the home computer, open up her profile on it and point OE to a new location to find them. Then, maybe if they import OK, I can export them to a different location, save those and then reload them to the laptop.
If not, I may just cry.
Sometimes I really hate Bill Gates.
Then, the hits kept coming. We had to go grocery shopping. Of course, between here and Kroger, the rain reached “Noah” levels. And, to make it more funner, we had Skippy the Retard bag our stuff. One. Item. Per. Bag. In fact, we even got some empty bags. All good times in the pouring rain (not in the store…it has a roof…that was more of a parking lot and unloading comment). The best part was when the box holding 40lbs of kitty litter broke. Luckily it didn’t burst the inner lining when it fell or else the whole planet would have heard me. And, during this, Shmuppie was her usually retarded self.
On the way home:
Me: When we get home, you are to go straight into the house. Do not stop just inside the door. Do not stop by the table. Do not lie on the floor. Do not shit on the floor.
Shmuppie (Showing that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree) Can I go peepees on the floor?
JewelrySlut: (Grabs the rum bottle that she apparently keeps in my car.)
Once we were home, I had to cook dinner. In the end, I made a lovely Mexican chicken stew, but the journey there was rough. I lost the ability to use spring loaded tings, nearly throwing chicken all over the place in the process. I also learned (the hard way), that you should not remove the blade from a Cuisinart until AFTER the sauce has been poured out of it.
After dinner, I had a few drinks and everything was OK. JewelrySlut took care of me.
Speaking of her.
Reason 398 why she’s the best.
My Christmas card
Front panel: A reindeer girl is on a stripper pole with Rudolph (in a short sleeved dress shirt) and an elf watching.
Rudolph: Jingle those bells, Baby! Woo!
The bottom of the card reads: Why they call her “Vixen”
Inside: Merry Christmas
JewelrySlut added: I’d like to lick your peppermint stick and swing around your pole (I’m talking about your penis)
(emphasis on the “S”)
I’m telling you. I have no idea how I managed to luck out like this.
So, on to today.
2007 draws to an end, and I don’t think I’ll miss it.
Do I have resolutions? I don’t know. More like goals:
Travel less for work
Travel more for fun
Work a lot less (like not when on “vacation”)
Have more time outside of work (see above)
Qualify for Marriott Gold (Need 50 nights…hard when I plan to travel less, but I have a plan to travel less and still get my nights)
Get the kid to stop pissing the bed
That’s it. Happy New Year, all 2 of you!