Miss Me?

Didn’t think so.

It’s hectic as all getout here.

JewelrySlut is in Florida this week. Her father hasn’t been doing well lately and her Step-Mother went for foot surgery yesterday. So, on Monday morning, JewelrySlut loaded up the car and drove south. She sounds exhausted.

Me? I’m playing Mr. Mom this week. It’s going well so far. Shmuppie and I haven’t fought yet. I think it’s because we’ve been too fucking busy. Not that she planned it this way, but JewelrySlut picked the most perfectest weeks to go away.

Monday, we had a termite man come do an inspection and we had a furniture delivery. Shmuppie got a new loft bed for Christmas from my parents. Couple this with the driving schedule and an insane week at work and I was tired.

Tuesday was a whole new ballgame. Work sucked. I had a 3-5 conference call. I hopped between the office phone and my cell as I went about the day. From 3-5, I got Shmuppie down for a nap, got her up at 4:00, got her down here to do homework and then took another call from an angry vendor who wanted to yell at someone and got me on the phone. From there, we had to go to the Y for swimming.

Last session, Shmuppie’s instructors told JewelrySlut that she was done with little kid lessons and it was time to move her up to Jump Start. This is sort of a pre swim team program. Usually, you have to be at least 6 to join, but they put Shmuppie in it anyway. Tuesday was the first “class”.

Oh Boy.

The pool deck was chaos. There were about 25 kids in the program. The coach is tall, had a beard and is louder than I am (slightly intimidating to a tiny little blonde thing who thinks the world revolves around her). I wrestled Shmuppie into her new bathing cap (gotta look the part for the team) and they started stretching. Then, they randomly split the kids into 3 lanes.

Coach: “Do a 50 free, a 50 back, a 50 breast and a 50 choice”
Me: (quietly) Oh fuck…they’re starting with a 200. This could be bad.

Shmuppie kinda took off and held up for a lap. I lost sight of her at the other end of the pool. I saw her on the return and her goggles were off and up on her forehead. She finished the lap and sat on the edge of the pool. One of the instructors came over to her and I could see they were adjusting the goggles. I was going to sit back and see how this went. I’d told her this was a big step and she didn’t need me to go save her.

Until I saw the tears.

Lots of tears.

She ran over to me and was sobbing her little head off. It seems that she lost her goggles and swallowed a bunch of water. Couple this with the slap from reality that she’d gotten and she was terrified and utterly unhappy. We sat for a while and I tried to calm her down. Soon, the aquatics director (her first swimming lessons instructor) walked by and saw what was happening. Since she’s more or less made Shmuppie into her project, she saw what was going on and came to the rescue.

We eventually calmed Shmuppie down and got her back in the pool to finish up the session. She did Ok in the end, but it was more than rocky in the middle.

I think she just went into sensory overload over all the noise and the kids. Plus, she always wants to win and is being asked to swim with kids 3 and 4 years older than she is. I told her it’s going to be hard, but she needs to keep trying and it will be OK.

“But I want to be 6″
“You just need to be the best Shmuppie that you can be. That’s all we want you to do”
“Ok Daddy”

So…lessons over, we had to get dressed…in the boys locker room. I did my best to keep her off to the side so she’d have less opportunity to point and yell “I see a ding-ding!”

From there, it was off to Chick-Fil-A (which in our house is pronounced with a soft “A” at the end. Like “Chick-fill-uh” We think it’s funny) for Shmuppie’s traditional post-first-lesson kid’s meal.

We got home at 6:45 and I was in a hurry. I had to get her fed, pooped and bathed before 8 because I had a board meeting to run.

People, of course, arrived early as I was showering the kid.

The meeting wrapped up at 10. The meeting went stupidly, as usual.

I was done.

JewelrySlut called to say that they were finally home for the day, having spent like 8 hors at the hospital.

Shortly thereafter, I passed out.

Today’s Wednesday. It should only get easier from here.

But…mad props to JewelrySlut for having played the role of single mother around here for the better part of 3 years since we moved and I decided to start living in a hotel. It’s a lot of work.