Here I am

Mistress Dipshit was saying how she hadn’t written in a while. That made me think…neither have I.

What can I say? I’ve been lazy, tired and now too busy.

Let’s go back in time:
June 20:
I get a call at 8:00AM. CrazyDiane has quit. I will be wearing the blonde wig of insanity for a while apparently.

June 21:
Drove up to Baltimore with my father to drop my mother and Shmuppie off at their cruise. Shmuppie was cranky in the car. My mother was cold. My father was pissy. I was fighting a combination of stress and fatigue.

We dropped them off and drive to my brother’s house. We hang there for a while and then the 4 of us drive to DC to see the Nationals. Upon arriving at the stadium, we parked in the cool VIP parking lot. We exited the parking deck and my father walked into a wall. The Nats should be applauded for keeping their glass so clean. My father thought he was walking out a door and walked straight into a giant floor to ceiling window. He left an impression on the door of his nose. I had to sit down on the ground and laugh. The stadium was OK and the game sucked.

June 22:
We drive home. I felt awful. I don’t handle stress well.

June 23: JewelrySlut and I had the house to ourselves. Work continued to stress me out.

June 24 – 27:
JewelrySlut and I took a mini vacation. Which is to say we flew to NJ, I worked and she tried to eat her weight in NJ food. Work was dismal. They laid HowardTheJew off on Wednesday right before the going away party we held for him. It was depressing. Thursday was spent sitting around; looking at what used to be our office and trying not to get too sad. I made my rounds and said all my goodbyes. Finally, I told JewelrySlut to come retrieve me at about 3:30. I’d had enough. JewelrySlut and ChurchBomber went to dinner with friends, so MerlotMan and I had a date. He’s a romantic.

June 27:
Flew home to Raleigh. Having listened to The Traffic God, we gave ourselves a lot of time to get to LGA. Arriving 40 minutes later, we had 3 hours to kill in LGA. /sad face
We flew home and I was still tired and somewhat sick. Really, I am only 33. It only seems that I’m 79.

June 28:
JewelrySlut and I had the morning and afternoon to ourselves. We went to the pool, napped, screwed and showered. Then I drove up the road to get the kid. They’d been in traffic all day and the 3 of them were cranky. Shmuppie had a good time on her trip. JewelrySlut and I became quickly aware exactly how much Shmuppie talks. The silence had been nice for the week.

June 29:
I was still sick to my stomach and tired. Fortunately, Shmuppie was also tired and slept late. We went food shopping and then went to the pool. Negroes were in the pool. That’s never good. I made us all a late lunch and watched clouds roll in.

The ladies dropped me off for my 6:20 flight up here to PHL. Upon reaching the gate, we were told to expect an hour delay. I sat down and read. Then, we boarded. I got a good seat (Southwest) and looked nervously out the right side windows. The sky was black. The pilot said he’d try to get us out before the storms hit. We sat because DC put an air hold in place. I had to explain to the woman next to me that we need to fly over DC to get to PHL and that if they close the roads, we don’t fly. We taxied away and promptly wasted time getting to the runway on the opposite side of the airport. We sat there some more when PHL closed its airspace.

Finally, as the blackness spread, the captain told us we were going back to the gate. They were about to close RDU due to storms and if we didn’t get back right away, we’d be stuck on the tarmac. We went back. We deplaned.

2 hours later, we got back on the plane. Then, we sat some more because of weather in Iowa or something. I was tired and hungry and not even the Bitter Biscoff (left over from the week before) could sate me.

We took up in the middle of a lightning storm and, about a minute later the plane was bouncing so hard that people were screaming things like “We’re gong to die”

We got up here and the nags took forever. I got to my hotel at 1:00AM…roughly 4 hours late.

June 30:
Here at the plant. My project from last summer was finally in production and it was a 5 ring circus of a clusterfuck. Everything went wrong. I’m just here, watching it go south and asking anyone how I can help. I spent yesterday beating up the envelope supplier in an attempt to fix some major QC issues.

So…here I am. I fly home on Thursday and then back up on Sunday night. I’ll be here the weeks of July 20 and July 27. If I can make it through the month, I’ll be ready for my vacation to St. John. I just need to maintain sanity between now and then so I don’t end up having a breakdown on the beach or something.

That’s my life.