Back to normal

Maybe we walked around and around and around in the house last night for 25 minutes while Chicken seethed a bit. But…the result was what we wanted. She ate at 10, 2 and 5. Back on schedule.

Finally, this dopey house paid off for something. The first floor, as we have it configured, allows you to walk in circles. Living room…down a hallway, dining room, through the kitchen, back to living room. Rinse, repeat, bounce your steps along, sing stupid songs. It worked last night and is now in the arsenal of things to do to get he kid to sleep.

Maybe Maybe Maybe Maybe Maybe Maybe Maybe Maybe Maybe Maybe I have a lead on a new job. It’s still at RedCompany, so that’s even gooder. As of my birthday, my current job more or less ceased to exist for me. I’ve been replaced and remain in limbo. But, I have something not quite cooking. It’s more like I have the ingredients out and the knives sharpened. Nothing cooking yet.

Speaking of cooking, Shmuppie and I have been cooking a lot lately. Last night, I made ribs. I’ll be damned if they weren’t the strangest ribs I’ve ever seen, but they were good. I even made up my own little asisn-influenced sauce to go with them. They weren’t baby backs, not spares or countrys. I can validate that they were from a pig though, so how bad could they be?

Shmuppie and I are doing well with the cooking. She’s got her very own little paring knife that she uses to do my prep work. We told her to expect a lot more work around the house once her sister came…we’r enot sure this was what she had in mind.

I need to make a tomato and pepper salad tonight. Tomorrow, we’re stuffing peppers and eggplants and making a little tomato sauce to go with them.

now…pictures of summer stuff from the Farmer’s Market


Chilies and habaneros

Banana Peppers

Who’s hungry?

This is what they all talk about

10:00: Hook up the kid. She eats until about 10:45.
10:50: Lights our
1:30: Back to sleep
2:30: WAAAAA
3:30: Back to sleep
5:15: Back to sleep
7:00: Back to sleep
We were due for one of these. Last night, we got one.

To pump or not to pump: I keep offering to take a feeding or 2, but Chicken drains JewelrySlut during the afternoon and we’re trying to avoid formula at this point. However, should tonight go like last night, I wager I will be taken up on my offer to do anything to get the kid to sleep.

Regarding dog shit: It’s gone. And, as I put it yesterday, I can’t be angry with these people; just annoyed.

FHPM (mother): I got your note
Me: Yea…sorry about that, but it was bad
FHM: I had FHK (Kid) clean it up. She’s been babysitting for the last 3 weeks and she shouldn’t be neglecting her chores.
Me: Thanks

OK…This is why I can’t be mad…just annoyed. This woman is a total idiot. She’s not nasty about anything; just a clueless idiot. Her kid, as you may remember, does not go to school because she’s apparently allergic. And Mom may or may not work. The bottom line is that neither has a clue what the other is doing. So, if FHK says she’s cleaned up, Mom does not check. That, I guess, is what really annoys us the most. I’ve had to ask her a few times about this. Each time is the same type of excuse “She told me she cleaned up”. Well…if I’ve had to come to you 3 times now, don’t you maybe think she’s not doing the job? Shouldn’t you maybe check in on her?


JewelrySlut’s BFF bought a new bathing suit. You’ve all see pictures of me. Imagine someone with my figure in a bikini. Yea…it would not be good. I pull off a bathing suit well enough for a 35 year old balding bundle of stress, but I should not be in a bikini. Either she found it on sale or is trying to enjoy her last 2 weeks of what she must think to be her reign as best looking mother at the pool. Wait until May, sweetie. Someone’s coming back to reclaim her title.

Redefining Saturday

It’s funny how someone so small can have such a large impact on things around the house. And we’re not even talking about all the stuff; the pack and play and swing in the living room, the car seat and feeding seat thing in the dining room. Or the bassinet and changing table and clothes and stuff in our room. Or the bathtub in our room or the newly redesigned spare room.

I’m talking more about sleep patterns. I’m not really impacted by much at this point because, while I have nipples, they’re more or less useless to Chicken. So, during the night, there’s not much for me to do other than sleep. JewelrySlut gets up overnight to do the feedings and, while I usually open one eye to ask “Is everything OK?”, I sleep. Don’t look at me that way, what the hell else is there for me to do? Stay awake in an act of solidarity? That’s stupid.

So, this morning, I woke up at about 8:20 and the ladies I share a room with were both dead asleep. They’re still there. I’m happy that Chicken, so far, is a good sleeper because Shmuppie was not. The extra hour+ of sleep that JewelrySlut can get in the morning seems to be what’s keeping her sane at this point. So, Shmuppie and I are downstairs…her watchint The Disney Channel, me puttering away on the laptop. I was trying to overcome my HTML-tard skills to make some edits to this site, but, as usual, failed. So…same old look for now.

A quiet Saturday morning is an odd thing. It’s not that I don’t like the company, but the ability to sit here quietly, listening to the neighbors do their insane things, is kinda nice.

Speaking of neighbors…here’s a good one.

This is an email I sent to the FHPs (Filthy Horse People)


I’m sorry to bother you through email but I never seem to catch you at home. I was just out watering my plants and the smell from Sweetie’s poops is pretty bad. I peeked through the fence to make sure I wasn’t going crazy or anything and the flower pots along our common fence have poop in them. I think that’s what we smell when we sit in our little “grass” area.

Would you mind sending FHK (Filthy Horse Kid) out there with a shovel to clean it up? I hate to be such a bother about this but the smell is quite strong out back.

I Sent that 3 days ago and the dog shit remains. I’m not happy. Is it so much to ask a person to clean up after their dog? It’s especially bad because these turds are right along the fence that we share. When we put in the deck, we had to make a decision: put the deck by BigSexyGlenn or by the FHPs. We chose the former for reasons I don’t remember. I think it had to do with the smell. We figured we’d sit on the deck more. then, the sod failed and the garden didn’t take on the FHP side. So, the fake grass went in and the garden switched to the deck side. Now, we like to sit in the grassy side, but have to contend with the smell. I’m pondering my next move. It’s either dump bleach on all their plants in order to 1: Kill the smell and 2: Kill the heirloom bulbs or show up at their door with a shovel and request entry to their yard. I know I’d be horrified if I received an email like I sent…I’d be really horrified knowing that it’s like the 3rd time I’ve been asked to clean up.

This may have to get ugly between us because, as things stand, we can’t sit in our yard. I can barely open the doors to the basement because the odor of shit is so strong.

That’s it for now. Time to go find the baby backpack thing and remember how to use it. Chicken’s making a trip to the Farmer’s Market today, and assuming I can fit her into the backpack, that will be her mode of conveyance.

This is what I meant to say

But, as I mentioned, the CPanel thing got me flustered and then I just forgot. Anyway…I had a point to make.

I was dropping Shmuppie off at school and drivig between the masses of stressed fabric. I figured this was as good a time as ever to post some somewhat unflattering pics of the wife. But, in the end, they’re not that bad…well…one is.

Here we are at the hospital. We’d arrived and were waiting to go into triage.

This one was taken while we were walking about trying to coax JewelrySlut’s cervix open. This picture is utterly unnecessary but I find it funny.

And, lastly. This was taken as we were leaving the hospital on Wednesday. Our nurse on Wednesday morning would not believe JewelrySlut when she told her she’d given birth 48 hours earlier.

She intends to be fit and hawt by Christmas. Get a move on it, sweetie. You look a little flabby through the middle.

Awwwww Man

I said that in my Swiper voice.

I finally missed a day. I had every intention of posting yesterday but got sidetracked. I was even going to post loving pictures of Jewelryslut that were inspired by the women I saw while dropping Shmuppie off at school. the sight of all that straining, bluging fabric made me want to post before and after pictures. Not wanting them on Fabebook, I wanted them on the stupid C-Panel thing. But, I could not access it. Then, everything else went wacky and the bottom line is that I’m a big fat loser.

Until then, we’re continuing to settle into our new home routine. In all of 3 days this week, I’ve gotten Shmuppie up and out the door. JewelrySlut and Chicken are usually eating at about 5:00, so waking up again at 6:30 is cruel. As long as I’m home, this should work. Getting Shmuppie moving in the morning is fun. I should make a checklist of everytime I have to say “Eat your breakfast”. I think I said it 47 times in 10 minutes this morning.